Start with a Smart

The protagonist has a game system, but not everyone has played this game. You write like a professional opening game article. People who have not played it will not know what you mean. What 6+5, 6+1 can only be guessed based on the context is the upgrade of player cards. When you write an article, you should consider that people who have never played games will not understand it. If you cannot write, your emotions will be so high that the readers will not understand. Either add a few more words to describe the strength of the player card, or simply mention it. A common problem among newcomers when writing articles is that they often assume that readers understand what they understand. This is a big problem.

Goldfinger is pretty good, with values, badges, hot spots, and tasks. This is also the most common cheat in basketball novels. But there are a few points that I hope the author will explain clearly in the text, otherwise I will always have questions when reading: 1. How many bursts are there? I think of it as an upgrade, so how many bursts is the full level? 2. The protagonist's attribute value is 136 in Section 08. So what is the full attribute value? 150 Points? 3. For a single technical attribute, above 110 and below 110 seem to be two realms in the book. I have never played the game and I don't know. I hope the author will mention it in the text. Similarly, what is the full point of a single technical attribute? 150? 4. The use of punctuation marks is really problematic, as is the paragraphing, which makes reading difficult. Chapter 40, the reverse update chapter, has too many settings and is expected to dissuade many readers. 5. Come on, author, you are a rising competitive writer.

The first chapter of the opening chapter feels like the author is telling me If you have never played this game, hurry up and get lost This is the first time I was blocked by the threshold of sports writing.

People who don't play games will not understand this at all. It feels like they are screening readers from the beginning.

The entry point of the article is very good. One year of high school, one year of college and then entering the NBA. Using participating in training camps as a link, it reflects the author's true basketball fan in terms of tactics and related history, and also reflects his rigorous attitude towards basketball. Article shortcomings. 1. Some paragraphs are too long. When viewed on a mobile phone, some paragraphs have taken up a quarter or even a third of a page, and the paragraphs have many words. These affect the reader's sense of reading. It is recommended to focus on three-line paragraphs and two-line paragraphs, and reduce the number of four-line paragraphs. 2. The initial writing feels unfamiliar and the fluency is not high. It should be written by the author in the early stage. The first few chapters of the article are the reader's first impression of the entire article, which determines whether the reader reads further. It is recommended that the author re-read and revise. Judging from the last dozen chapters, the author's writing level has improved significantly, and there is no sense of complexity in the early stage. Overall, it is a medium-sized sports novel. If the rectification is completed, it can reach the upper-middle level.

The author likes to mess with punctuation. You have to add a comma in the middle of a sentence to separate it into two paragraphs, which makes it difficult to read smoothly.

The writing is quite good, there are on-site and off-site, and it is a sacred resource, but the updates are too unstable, and I often give myself a holiday.

All I can say is, give Dayao a championship and don't let him play so hard in the offseason.

The biggest problem is the attributes. Although I also play 2k, there is no need to list the attributes in such detail in the novel. Maybe you can open a single sheet to list the attributes separately. As long as there is new or modified content in the text, it will be fine. Then there are a few sentences describing the current capabilities. It's enough to let readers know roughly what level the protagonist is now and what type of player he is.

By the way, this picture is pretty good

Good novels are rare, and the author has saved the manuscript. I suggest the author end this book and start over from the beginning, for three reasons: 1. Make the plug-in simple, and it is best to combine it with our Chinese quintessence, such as using traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture to stimulate potential explosion, and using traditional Chinese medicine to stimulate secondary development. Raise, strengthen, grow (Write 28, 38, 58 as you wish, as long as it doesn't work, write it down... Achilles tendons, palms, etc. 😁 Do you have any misunderstandings 😎😎) For example, it is said that Wu Tieshan can break people's ribs by relying on it, such as Baguazhang can enhance blocking, Jeet Kune Do and Eagle Claw Kung Fu can enhance steals, such as using the Qi function to knock people into internal injuries and dunk them over others' heads, etc. (But there must be restrictions such as internal power can only be used once a week) at critical moments. (Such as Western Conference Finals, Finals) It is the trump card that can defeat the strong with the weak. Just like nuclear weapons, you can usually not use them, but you must have them. This ability is unique in the entire league. Readers will look forward to when the protagonist will use his super power to make the final decision or subdue the evildoers. 2. The effect of plug-ins in helping the protagonist improve his abilities must be significant, and it must be improved through long-term persistence or even desperate efforts. It cannot be too easy or too frequent, otherwise there will be no sense of expectation (it takes at least 3 or 50 chapters to improve once). 3. The plot selection can be more attractive. Write more humorous interactions and tidbits with teammates, coaches, and league celebrities. Try to go through the game process in one go. Combine the game data to write about the role of the protagonist and the main characters in winning or losing the game. Key games, such as the times when the author uses his abilities to defeat powerful enemies, will be written in detail. 4. The saved manuscript can still be used with some modifications (don't hit me if you don't use it)

There is too much nonsense in the front, but the rest is okay

Suitable for spirited young people, normal people won't be able to watch it.

Suddenly went on a trip to the palace? Be careful and it will grow, but you will be caught and cut off 😁😁

I can't understand it without playing the game. Looking at the settings is the same as reading the user manual.

I tolerated everything else, but I really couldn't stand it when Anji was with the Celtics in 1999. This shows that the author simply writes whatever he wants.

I have never played this game, and many of the descriptions of this game in it made me confused, but since it is the type of sports writing that I am interested in, I plan to stick with it and see what happens next. 🥺

It's been a week. Just say something.

It's really uncomfortable to use exclamation points in a very bland description.

In other words, Dayao should be the No. 1 Pick.

I feel like not many people will read it, so the author should just treat it as a practice. Personally, I think it's okay, but it's the kind of thing you'll forget after reading it. For newcomers, don't talk about writing skills. Only when you have a good idea can people read it. If no one reads it before it's put on the shelves, it will most likely be unavailable in the future.