The Magician in the Moon

When you update, subtle flaws will be magnified, and the greenness of the writing will be criticized. When you update twice, a little patience is born, and the progress of the plot is paid more attention to. When you are on the third watch, the slightest praise begins to sound, and the number of dead harvests begins to decrease. When you read the fifth update, readers' support spontaneously formed, and the voices of praise became louder and louder. When you are at the tenth watch, the Confucian debates are deafening, and the tolerant attitude is implemented both inside and outside. When you are twenty, you will have a place in the bookworm's memories. Even in a long life, your name will leave a dazzling trace. Updating may not solve all problems, but more than 90% of the problems come from insufficient updates.

There is no need to write such an event book. The amount of science popularization exceeds the standard. This is already more than the amount of plot. You are writing fan fiction, not a setting collection.

The biggest problem with this book is that despite the huge plot, the main character always looks like a clown🤡! You can cheat, you can lose, but you can't be a clown. Just when you're about to get excited, I'll give you a big BOSS. Everything about the protagonist is under the control of others. Do you think it's interesting?

In the second part, it can be seen that the author's attention has returned to the protagonist, which is good. The description of the big scenes is also impressive. The so-called magicians are people who prefer a sense of ritual, aren't they?

It feels like it has become a group drama. The novel and the game are still different, and it is a bit off topic.

It's so unbelievable that a Lancer without a Master just killed an Assassin with a Command Seal with just one command spell, and he was still able to survive until a new contract was signed. Is this the heroic version of "people are more annoying than others"?

This is a rare TM fanfic that has no system, no nerds, no bad jokes, and no ambiguity. I hope the author writes more 🌹

Seeing that everyone is talking about how to summon the heroic spirits from the Lostbelt, here is a unified explanation. This demon orchid is not that demon orchid. The one here is the remaining spirit of Albion. With the help of the Holy Grail ritual, it created a spiritual base for itself. It observed this image and directly applied it as a template. Just like Caster, the inside of the big dog is sometimes not the big dog himself. The inner being here is not the Orchid from the Lost Belt. First of all, I would like to thank my readers for their support. Thank you all!

In the first volume, the protagonist had a dream, a dream that lasted for several chapters. At that time, this dream broke away from the main line of the first volume and was a foreshadowing of the second volume. However, because it was separated from the main line of the first volume, the reading experience was not very good. In the second volume, the protagonist uses someone else's perspective to obtain information, and the protagonist is taken offline for about ten chapters at once (I don't know if this plot is based on the original work, but I have always been in the clouds, and I was confused when reading it). The protagonist is not seen in these ten chapters. Although these ten chapters have promoted the plot, is such a long and detailed foreshadowing too much? It feels like a very poor experience.

Any world with Chaldea is a Lost Belt, and there is no Chaldea in the history of pan-humanity. So who is Chaldea and who is embarrassed? They even said that they would cut off the Lost Belt for the history of pan-humanity, which even made Zeus laugh.

As long as you can accept group portraits, by the way, I complained about the main character being hidden in Chapter 20 after it was released.

It feels not as good as the previous Machiri II

Well, can you please stop smiling bitterly all the time? This word is overused. And if you feel uncomfortable about why you are smiling, why not write a psychological description? Is it embarrassment or disappointment, shame or helplessness? It is much better to describe your emotions than to smile bitterly, or you can simply write that your smile is a bit forced. That's fine, "shrugged", "touched nose", "wry smile", "if they knew I don't know how to feel", these poorly written words and phrases have reached the point where it makes people uncomfortable to read, and sometimes "laughing" is inappropriate, such as Chi Awakening in the Sky Realm part Origin, it was mentioned twice in one chapter that Mom C's "wry smile" made me nervous. It was better to put a quilt around her neck to express an indifferent smile, and to show her worry about Chi's decision, it was better to write her words to sound helpless or anxious. Later, when I heard that Shi can't do it, she smiled bitterly again. You are very disappointed. Can you laugh when you are laughing? Can't you just write that you feel a little disappointed? What about dry laughter, awkward laughter, forced laughter, and ridicule? These words with similar meanings in certain situations can also be substituted In short, if you can, please don't always use overused words and phrases.

The previous writing is really good. Although it is a little scattered, it is not a shortcoming. However, why is it that the decryption in the second chapter is good and the layout is good, but why does it have to be a fantasy tree in the end? I don't think that the mysterious memory of me thinking about each other through deus ex machina in the dream is very epic, right? When a fantasy tree comes down, the combat power laid out in the front collapses. How to write the next one. In a mysterious world, the origin is me thinking, or the Lostbelt anchor point. When you wake up from the dream, there is nothing left. This game should be superfluous to write. If you are not invincible, the system will collapse. If you are invincible, the style laid out in front of you will collapse. It would be great if a normal genius opens a small game to compete with others. Taka uses a traditional mystical layout to compete with others. Besides, what is the most attractive thing in FGO or Xingyue? Is it a heroic spirit, a mystery, or an epic? It can't be Takeuchi's face. Heroic spirits are also the product of human epics. Isn't epic something that people pass through faith, perseverance, or wisdom? Is the story left behind after accomplishing things that are cognitively impossible to be called an epic? The road to epic is almost coming to an end. Suddenly a deus ex machina appears and turns into an epic where gods and concepts of gods are fighting each other. The hero uses the divine power to obtain artifacts or conquer divine beasts. Is it still called an epic?

There is no simulator, nor does it kill old bugs as soon as it comes. The writing feels very stable, and the plot writing is also very good 😍

Have you ever been a magician? Some things are scribbled and taken for granted.

It's quite good to read, and it's even one of my favorites among the Xingyue fanfics I've read. The protagonist is also a very good magician, and there's no cool story about being a rigid follower. But now that I'm the protagonist, I always feel that I'm lacking. Please update more in the end. It's really good.

Xingyue's combat power is already messed up, Yaolan can even compete with Solomon It's simply funny, and do you really not understand that some awesome characters are downgraded by becoming heroic spirits? Don't you understand the word "no magic supply"? How fast can your F1 racing car run without oil? Tiantian combat power, if you don't let Jin Shining Shining directly open EA, it's a good book, the comments are messy, affecting the perception The author writes well, there are few Xingyue fans, and there are many mushrooms to eat books, just follow your own ideas, it will be fine

The idea is not bad, but it feels too dry and has no exciting points or highlights. The main character's ability is to use disgusting bugs, and there is nothing new. As an insect player, I have also read the book Konoha Insect Princess, and that book is much more interesting than this one. Alas, it just doesn't make sense when I look at it. That's the biggest shortcoming of this book.

When I saw Yao Lan fighting the assassin, I felt that the perspective was cut too frequently. It was good to have one main battlefield and three secondary battlefields unfolding at the same time. However, after the story of Tokiomi being stolen, Yao Lan still played three chapters there. The overall story gave people the illusion that the pace was not very advanced, and the story and information content were low. The gaps between these chapters were also obvious. It can be seen that readers have little desire to discuss and read. The free chapters can be quickly browsed, but subscribing to the chapters will make people feel overwhelmed. The author's control of the rhythm of the group portraits is still a bit weak, and he can't hold back once he writes the supporting characters. Focusing on the protagonist may be more helpful for the author to advance the story. I saw the part about Yaolan but I had no choice but to jump in and watch the follow-up development.

It's really important to follow up on the new book issue. Everyone's follow-up reading is the motivation for me to write the book.

The second one is much better, keep it up.

It's good to read, but there are very few updates. I saved it for half a month and finished it in a while. Can the author write more? 😭

Why hasn't it been updated in a month? What happened? Or is it that the outline that was stabbed in the back was scrapped?

And the suit and the eyes

There was no excuse, so I stopped for two days.

I can't say anything about my body, and there are 23 chapters worth at least 6K each, waiting for your correction.

After the Holy Grail War, I didn't understand what I was writing about at the beginning of the second volume. No clear main line can be seen

Finally came back. I was so surprised that I thought you didn't last until the end.