Awakening Ruthlessness

The appearance of my husband was like a stone that shattered the porcelain pot I had placed in the flower bed, revealing the loose sand and a budding fruit core inside. It was like a beast that had been sleeping for ten years being awakened by a ray of sunlight, breathing unprecedented air and beating a heart that could not calm down. I gathered my mood, tried to regain my composure, brought the flowers into the house, found a vase I bought last year, and inserted them meticulously. My mind was full of bits and pieces of the past. I don't know when, but I seemed to have forgotten the pounding heart. There were more socks to wash, more movies to watch alone, I scolded my son for being rebellious, I disliked my husband's figure, I couldn't stand myself for being submissive in order to live, and I couldn't make up my mind to change.