Life Pauses in the Midsummer of 18 Years Old

I am an extraordinary ordinary person who was born in a small county on the 18th line. I have been in many troubles since I was born. Fate seemed to be playing tricks on me again and again, but I tried to break the shackles of fate again and again, and finally I got to live an ordinary life as I wished. Just when I was about to experience life, fate played another big joke on me. This time fate put me to death, so I could only compromise. Maybe all I could do was live the rest of my life as well as possible! Thank you for accompanying me in the last period of my life. When you see this diary, maybe I have gone to another world. Hahaha, don't cry. I am just a passer-by in your life. Your life is still long. You can experience life for me, but please don't forget me. Because death is not the end of human life, forgetting is. Finally, I still remember that you once asked me about the meaning of my life. I'm sorry that I can't tell you now. Here I want to answer with a sentence from Yu Hua's works: "People live for life itself, not for anything other than life." At the end, I want to say something to you: "I love you." I'm sorry that I couldn't say this to you in person. I know that saying this at the end may only make you more sad, but I have had this sentence in my heart for a long time. I wanted to say it to you on the day you went to Beijing with me. I know this sentence is a burden to you, but you can just hide it in your heart. Remember that there was someone who loved you very much in the summer when you were 18 years old. ——The last page of Chu Anxi's diary