Xian Xia: Breaking the Ancient Chess Game at the Beginning

It's so unconventional for a man and prince to call himself this palace.

Come on (ง •̀_•́)ง

I feel that the plot of your book is quite smooth, but the problem is that your writing style has some problems. First of all, the scene description. As far as the first three chapters are concerned, your scenes are too messy, which makes the readers confused. Secondly, the character dialogue is a bit awkward. When you write dialogue, you should at least have some back-and-forth, but yours is basically just a one-sided narration, and there is nothing distracting. You should know how to create a character, but the character you created is not that lovable. Let's not talk about the world. As far as the master is concerned, he does not have the courage to teach. He was also restrained by law enforcement elders.

I think, personally, it's just my personal opinion, that is, don't deliberately suppress the protagonist. For example, it is explained in the article that the player can directly become a direct disciple after traveling through the game, but the author made it difficult for him to become an outer disciple. This is based on the sound perception, which is unnecessary. Conflict, you can modify the plot. For example, the protagonist passed the thousand-year chess game, got the props, and then came to the Immortal Sect for identity assessment. You can create conflicts on the way, such as the princes who have appeared, such as this wizard girl. After handing over the props, wouldn't it be great to be promoted to the inner sect and become a direct descendant? You can even advance the feed. For example, there was originally a quota for the inner sect this year, and the son of the law enforcement elder was the most promising one, but because of your props, the quota is yours. Wouldn't there be subsequent conflicts? Think about a useless protagonist and a genius villain, don't you expect this? Isn't it interesting to have a minister father at home, and even a family grandfather, or some kind of spy, behind his back? It feels weird to look at it like this now, and it feels like I'm forcibly returning to Novice Village. Also, try to keep the inner monologue as small as possible. If there is more, it will have a feeling that the author is explaining to the readers, which will affect the introduction and perception. It is better to use character dialogue. When the supporting character scolds the protagonist, try to pick some civilized and unfamiliar things that are not commonly used in reality and are difficult to bring in. The above is purely a paper talk and a personal opinion.

260,000 Words haven't been published yet? Sent, this is it.