If I Had Two Lives

When I was a child, whenever someone died in the village, I would lie on a chair and ponder, where will they go after they die? Or live again as someone else? Will so many people come to see me and cry sadly for me in the future? I have always had some unrealistic fantasies. If I could start my life over again, I would be able to be unscrupulous, make mistakes, get angry casually, refuse boldly, and express my feelings bravely...?