Past, Future

I am a student who is about to take the college entrance examination. I should realize my own value in a very intense study, but I am doing nothing every day. I have reflected on myself more than once and said to myself: "What are you doing? Stand up!" But I feel very tired. I am always awake and falling like this. I look at all kinds of things in the world, all kinds of people, all kinds of things, and I think about the meaning of life, but I get nothing. I am dissatisfied with reality, but there is nothing I can do about it, so I am going to record my life to help me reflect the value of life, think about the meaning of life, and change myself.