The First General of Qin Dynasty Succeeded

The writing of Jing Salamander is a bit romantic, which does not match the character of Jing Salamander. Jing Salamander took advantage of his own advantages to assassinate the Hanguang Sword Master, and used a beauty trick to assassinate Lord Xinling. The author you write, the Amazing Salamander, looks like an innocent girl. It feels awkward. There are some poisonous spots, but you can see them.

I see that now, except for the strange salamander, which is a bit out of character, everything else is pretty good. I personally think that the passionate love between Jing Salamander and Jing Salamander is the most difficult (after all, a professional killer). After getting familiar with each other, we have a tacit understanding like family members, understanding each other and trusting each other, and then getting used to each other. This kind of slowly changing from friendship to a little love mixed with it is more in line with Jing Salamander's character? (This is my personal idea) At first, Jing Salamander may be impressed by the protagonist because of guilt and the kindness of saving her life (because her relatives died just to save her), and then the second time he saved her, she was deeply impressed (and even more guilty). Then, by chance, he meets the protagonist who saves the army from defeat and flees for his life. The connection between the two becomes closer? The Frightened Salamander is not a ruthless and cold-blooded kind, so he should be touched by the many life-saving graces The above are my personal opinions. Does anyone have better suggestions?

See Chapter 9! I got goosebumps when I wrote about Frightened Salamander! The silly and sweet Jingli fell in love with a ten-year-old boy when he met her!

Qin Shi had nothing to worry about, but he still succeeded with one general? You are just withered bones

Here are two knives

Everyone, please don't subscribe. The plot after it is released is as stupid as a fool. The protagonist is mentally retarded. There is no protagonist. He has a dog-licking mentality. He was drugged twice. Just for the sake of the plot, it is neither fish nor fowl.

Doesn't fighting rely on cavalry, crossbows, spears, swords and shields? The Mo Dao has a lamp function, is not as long as a spear, is easy to break, is expensive, uses a lot of iron, and is time-consuming to make. A white-steel gun with a wooden handle can throw Mo Dao 10 blocks away, and the blade is too long, and it can also kill friendly troops.

The name is "One General's Success", but the result is "Net" and "Martial Arts". Looking at the title of the book, I thought the author was writing a historical novel where the main character is a military commander, but it turned out to be a martial arts novel about a martial artist. .

Am I looking at the performance of a time traveler in his 30s? You might as well just write about the indigenous people

It's so frustrating to watch. Anyone can beat the protagonist like a grandson.

The story about Yan Lingji's younger brother comes out of nowhere. It's a bit confusing. Visitors from another world don't want to talk about local love and hate. It's a bit hard to understand.

In a word, my mentality is too weak. I always rush, rush, and then say it without thinking. With this mentality, from the first chapter to the present, I have killed people, been hunted, friends were killed, and people I knew were killed, but the protagonist makes people feel stupid.

Just ask for leave. I won't support you anymore. Goodbye.

I read Chapter 2 on the shelf, and it's obvious that it's just an armchair argument. Tell me how the Mo Dao army attacked the city. It's better to carry a 2-meter-long knife on your back to climb the ladder. Mo Dao is a field battle, how to form an array on the city wall, and the funny one about using elites as siege troops. The more details you get, the less details there are.

So boring, I have no desire to read anymore

I don't understand creating my own heroine.

Now in the Qin Dynasty, the person with the most green moon is Wei Wuji, right?

Mom didn't even have enough to eat, and she just wanted to be with a woman.

Goldfinger Unknown The main character is too weak. Negative review

Reborn in Qin? Haha, this protagonist is so unlucky. The key is that the protagonist, this fool, is still enjoying it.

In Xianyang City, and inside the palace, could we encounter the assassination of Ying Zheng? What do you think Lu Buwei's snares are for, and what do the city defense troops do? Can you have some brains?

Even though Yan Lingji was a character she liked very much in her previous life, if she does this again and again, does she really think that Zhang Zhuo's life on the battlefield has been in vain for so many years? It is indeed a waste of time. He can be hit one after another. Everyone can calculate the situation, but the protagonist just has no brains, cannot think, and cannot calculate others.

After reading nearly 100 chapters, how many times has the protagonist encountered danger? Both humans and ghosts are on show, only the protagonist is being beaten. Right! Does the protagonist still have the brains to take care of things? I thought the protagonist was a single-core robot that only obeyed orders and had no self-awareness at all. I suggest the author read the book himself. Is this kind of pig's feet lovable? If you start by yourself and find a third-rate novel, the time traveler protagonist will have more self-action and self-awareness than you. What's the use of your time traveler setting? It doesn't reflect the special characteristics of time travel at all? To give the simplest example in the plot, the protagonist knows that his body skills are not good enough and he is at a disadvantage against the enemy, but he never wants to change himself and has no plan for his own interests. If I had to describe it, he would be no different from a killer in a trap. He has no self-thinking at all. He is just a tool in the hands of others, being called around by others.

Leave a comment and let me know I'm not alone!

This novel is really poisonous, too poisonous

Haha, first, please improve 😍

The author's writing is good. I would like to recommend the book he wrote. Friends who are book-hungry can take a look. Just click on the avatar. It is non-toxic.

I've put a lot of effort into the story and plot, and I've probably gone through it in my head many times, but I really feel like it needs some work. You really should stop writing about psychological activities, there are too many, they are all your psychological activities! You should write more side descriptions, and don't always focus on the protagonist, looking empty and dead. Are you just thinking in your mind, what will happen first, what will happen next, and what will happen next? How can you do this? It's like an assembly line. If you really can't write vividly, you divide each chapter or two into two lines and two perspectives. You write two copies and then combine them. One is based on the protagonist's progress (main line), and the other is based on the protagonist's situation in the eyes of everyone (side). What you wrote is too much! It's really too much! It's all from the perspective of the protagonist, it jumps too fast, and the psychological activities you wrote are really unpalatable! Slow down, don't let the protagonist's psychology start to change and the plot start to jump. Are you stuck on skills? Have you ever heard of storytelling like storytelling? Story story! Characters only represent part of the story, not the whole story! Plot development depends on conflict. Conflicts are several lines. You write them all down and study them against your own side. Don't always look through the protagonist's eyes! You are so monotonous and empty!

The main character is written as Scarface, so I can't watch it anymore

Qin Shi has read several books, but this one is average. I don't like it. I have lived in vain for thirty years and am extremely speechless.