Mystery: Disaster

I found some problems while reading, but I won't write about them since they are difficult to repeat. All in all, not enough has been written. It is recommended to revise the outline several times as the plot progresses (it will be better to compare it with some books that guide writing). In addition, should the author find some py transactions to increase the popularity?

This fan novel is somewhat similar to Breaking the Dimension Wall Next Door, but the author of that novel already had the urge not to write it, so that one was okay, although the writing in the middle period was not very good. This article is well written, I hope it will continue without a sudden break or hasty ending.

It seems that I have seen it, but it seems that I have not seen it. Too watery

The author is stubborn. Readers have said several times that they insist on using words such as "inn", "gangzhu" and "grandma", saying that the original work may have them. How can any Western fantasy use such words? You can't use the hotel owner's great-grandmother instead? This kind of work really deserves to be sold out.

It is difficult for people to have the urge to watch Aboriginal fan fiction, those regrets that want to make up for, those important events, those things that only those who have traveled through time can know. You, an Aboriginal, always happen to appear in places full of regrets and events and do the right things. Even a prophet can't do it, let alone the protagonist who is a hunter. This is the biggest failure, and there are many mysterious places arranged by gods.

Let me think about where to start... Let's talk about the plot first. It's too troublesome to talk about the characters. First of all, turn to Chapter 25 and watch the male protagonist ask Kado about where the fire hyenas and sunflowers are. Seeing this, I realized that this is actually a main line about upgrading... The main reason for sneaking in as a slave was to elicit this clue. From the author's God's perspective, after the protagonist sneaks in and kills most of the enemies, he asks for more clues and the clues come out. It's quite reasonable, right? Then the reader is left confused: What happened to the protagonist? Why did you suddenly run over and do something inexplicable? Is this how blank space is used? Not only is there less psychological description, but I also didn't see how much action you wrote. A large section of the necessary plot was skipped directly First of all, the male protagonist himself has the formula for sequence seven, which changes the plot from searching for the formula to searching for the main material Secondly, how does the male protagonist know that Cardo has clues about the main material (don't tell me that the protagonist is deceived, just try to make a lie... If you really arranged it like this, I can laugh for a whole year) Then, the protagonist's thinking process, why is it better to sneak in as a slave than to track him? The protagonist analysis is written for the readers. You have to give the readers an explanation You can at least mention that after careful consideration (no explanation of psychological activities), the male protagonist finally believes that it is safer/easier/sturdier to sneak in as a slave... Remember "Magicians don't perform unprepared performances"? Of course, hunters don't hunt unprepared. Master of traps, where are your traps? ? ? I won't talk about the character design, the collapse is quite powerful. The male protagonist is still brave and resourceful at the beginning. He sneaked in there pretending to be a slave and just got over it.

Everything else is fine, except that I haven't been promoted since Sequence 8 was digested, so I have a lot of ink marks.

Full angle is tough enough, not bad, I hope the author can stick to it

Overall, it is a very good mysterious fanfic, but it has some toxic points. The son of Emperor Roselle said he wanted to replace steam. If you want to fight for yourself in Sequence 2, you have already digested it in Sequence 0. All I can say is that Steam is not stupid. If he can no longer control his subordinates, Steam will commit suicide. And the woman who arranged for the protagonist to rent a house in the beginning was forced to sell herself. When the protagonist saw it, he neither helped nor ignored her. Then there was a chapter dedicated to the protagonist's inner complexity. I can only say that she is talented. If you help, it means you don't care. If you don't help, you will also tell her that you have a complicated heart. What does it mean?

It was too slow, and I am still a conspirator. It's easy to get tired of being a gangster all the time, and if you don't interact with the original characters, you'll lose a lot of popularity. I hope it can spark up in the future.

Rubbish, must be an inn, rubbish

It's very well written, but it's a pity that I didn't grasp it well here at Conspirator. Please pay attention next time.

I feel that there are some problems with the writing. There are always true gods next to the protagonist. Even picking up a secret spy seems to have become a source of essence by some chance. There is also Roselle's son plotting steam and so on. Isn't this funny? Do you know how much control the true God has over this sequence? If the ancient sun god hadn't malfunctioned, would there be three gods? Besides, I started out as the King of Angels. This guy should be a Sequence Two.

Personally, I recommend watching it. It is a brand new story in a mysterious world. If you like the original work, you can read it. But I just hope that the author will not be like the one that broke the two-dimensional wall. That book was too embarrassing. Some readers came to me and made me vomit after reading it. Goldfinger can accept this, don't go too far 😅

There will be some puzzling things happening in the fandom. Are living zombies teaming up with faceless people, or are they real people? (I just took a rough look at it, so I'm sorry if I'm wrong). The author should take a closer look at the original work. Generally, cults and secret organizations all use a single path, not to mention that living zombies are basically from the Rose School (is that the name?). Anyway, the combination of living zombies and faceless men is still difficult to accept. This is not a game, and monsters can be randomly matched.

The mid-sequences are too worthless. The church cannot send so many mid-sequences. Fighting for a city like the southern continent, dozens of mid-sequences are too exaggerated. Even the church cannot send out mid-sequences casually. . It's just a sequence of five leaders and a city lord of the Iron Cross. There is no need to write it so difficult. . .

Are you really not going to explain why you always use words like zhaozi and inn?

Personally, I think the protagonist needs to be promoted quickly. In the early and mid-term, he can be two sequences ahead of Klein. He can stay in the demigod stage for a while to expand his power and conceive the plot. In fact, the Iron-Blooded Knight is a better stage to use to promote the plot. (The fifth stage of Sequence is actually very awkward. Does it really help the protagonist a lot? It is just the same for expanding the power. It is recommended that the fifth stage of Sequence 5 be promoted to Demigod quickly. Demigods will have more logic to defend and expand their power.) Kline's promotion speed will become faster and faster in the later period. If fan fiction follows the rhythm and becomes faster and faster, then your previous promotion will be meaningless and drag on the plot. Moreover, there is no need for fan fiction to help those in the original work. The promotion speed of the main character is increased because the original work is already very fast. On the contrary, if it continues like this, it will feel like it starts and ends. Many secret fan authors do this. The original work is already very fast. They also have to improve the rhythm. While improving the rhythm, they have to suppress the progress of the protagonist and Klein. As a result, you don't have to worry about writing Klein's breakthrough later. Shouldn't you worry about the protagonist of your own book? This is just my personal opinion. If the author has an outline, just read it yourself.

I think the writing is pretty good, but not many people read it.

It feels like a suture monster from both Dimensional Wall and Aurora Society.

Klein is promoted so quickly, what should the protagonist do?

Come on, author, I really like your writing style. Keep it up. The protagonist sequence will be faster. There is no need to wait for the rhythm of the original work. I found that many fan authors will wait for the rhythm of the original work. In fact, it is not necessary at all. Later, Klein was promoted very quickly. In order to maintain the progress, other fans were also promoted very fast, and there were many writing failures. It is better to advance up and wait. And I personally feel that the pioneering forces will be better written if they have demigods. The plot can stay with demigods for a longer time.

It's over, the author's plot is too conspiratorial. If this continues, no one will watch it 😭

The battle can be described as exciting