All Hail! Kneel Before the Metaphysics Master!

What? The legendary Lord Lu is getting married? And to some country girl? The whole capital is in an uproar. But when Lord Lu crouches down and gently rubs his sweet wife’s feet, everyone realizes that the country girl is the occult master they’ve been begging to see with checks in hand. Everyone: “Master, please read our fortunes, assess our characters, protect our homes, ward off disasters, slay demons, and banish evil…” Lord Lu: “Get lost! You don’t have enough money to make it worth my wife’s time. Her whole future belongs to me!”