Shi Muching

Move "Said" to the end so that it will be more comfortable to read You always say "Okay then" in confusion ("Okay then" you always say in confusion) "You" and "I" are used too frequently. It makes it difficult to read that you and I refer to each other separately. Who are you representing? You are Mu and I am Feng. Look at the subject matter of your novel. You should write the story of the two of them from the perspective of a third person. If you use the perspective of "I", then the story will only be about Feng. It doesn't match the title of your book at all. I'm off topic. You should write "The Story of Feng and Mu" from a different perspective so that it will make people feel better when reading it. Another important point is that you write it from the beginning. It's too realistic. If it's so sweet, it will make readers lose interest in reading. It will also easily lead to no plot development later. You should make readers feel full of doubts when reading Come on💪Take your time.

Come on! I will always be with you and look forward to your works