Douluo Dalu: the Ruined King

There are some problems with what you wrote. It is a fanfic and it is a Douluo fanfic. Where is the point of not killing Xiaoxiao Sancai? Although this routine is badly written, it is still readable. What you are writing now is from a third-person perspective and is based on the original work? The character description of Xiao Zha San in the first picture is a bit abrupt. Based on his past life experience and personality, can he be considered a little brat to you? The Tang Sect is trained as a killer, and the original work also has a lot of heartfelt descriptions! After reading two chapters, I didn't want to read anymore. Goodbye

Idiot-like plot, the martial spirit in the book is the useless martial spirit?

Yes, the protagonist is Foego Bengo, and the licking aspect is very restored. I think others can't say it well, because they didn't see that the protagonist you restored is Foego. Foego is like the protagonist. It's very reasonable. You don't even understand Foego at Riot. Come on

I just want to know what's going on in your timeline. You got your first soul ring at the age of 6, level 15. A year later, at level 20, Tang San reached level 17 and obtained his second spirit ring. Then he went to Tiandou Academy, and the protagonist was 11 years old? Level 25. A year later when I went to Shrek, I was 12 years old and level 29 was the same as Tang San. I won't talk about downgrading, it's a common problem in Douluo novels. Don't you think there's something wrong with the timeline? Or did I miss something?

I can't even make up any excuses for plot reasons

In the future, if you want to complain, please complain here! If you complain in other places, it may be deleted! The previous ones will not be deleted. Also, the author talks about the issue of licking. The issue of licking is a matter of benevolence and wisdom. The author believes that licking means that when I feel disgusted and bored with you, you still move closer to me. This is called licking. And I approached you with kindness, and you accepted my kindness, this is an ordinary friend. Tang San did not explain the principles of hidden weapons to the protagonist, nor did he give the protagonist hidden weapons or teach the protagonist Xuantian Kung Fu. And the protagonist and Master Tang San have not completely escaped the greatest blessing of the first soul skill and the effect of the black mist. This shows that both parties are just ordinary friends. Without the entanglement of interests, why would the protagonist treat Tang San and the master maliciously? Is it true that you don't lick others only when you face others with a bad face?

I still don't understand the logic that book martial arts are useless martial arts. Then I was annoyed by the main character practicing ancient martial arts. What is the title of your book? It's already annoying to sew a cat book into it, but you also write a Kobutsu water number, right? Can you please stop selling sheep's meat as dog's meat? Foyego is not capable enough for you to write?

Is it necessary to lick like this? There is a saying that it is better to be Xiao Yan's younger brother than Tang San's brother? When Douluo Huo was first released, I thought it was okay. When I saw the City of Killing, I felt something was wrong, and then I stopped subscribing. After the update was completed, I read the ending and part of the content. I didn't think much of it at the time. Only later did I realize that the protagonist Tang San was more outrageous than the villain in the book.

Stop writing. You're not very good at writing plots. Anyway, it's just a rush. Why don't you find a class now?

1. The soul power of level 15 in the front is forced to reach level 29 like Tang San 2. All kinds of nonsense and weirdness, without any purpose at all 3. Graduated early and went to Tiandou Royal Academy, and forcibly met Dugu Yan and Qian Renxue, and there is not much description, inexplicably wants to go to Shrek, saying that she has an agreement with the master 4. Inexplicably adds an accelerating attribute to the soul skill 5. Can't control emotions, I don't know what I am arrogant about

Dude, do you have an outline? Why does it feel like it's made fresh every day?

Okay, it's really boring to have no strength at the beginning. I thought it was the spirit of the Blade of the Ruined King. It's boring. I slipped away.

Now, if you don't go out of your way to blackmail Tang San, you call it licking?

It's not very licking, but there are quite a few typos, and the protagonist's character is a bit crazy. I thought it was Foyego, but it turns out it's a cat book (I thought it was Twin Martial Spirits when I read the introduction). I can't comment on anything else. I'm in the eye of the beholder.

. . . . , If you want to lick it, just lick it, don't lick it so fucking silently, I feel disgusting →_→, speechless, it is indeed a bit sweet, but he just won't write it like that, you know, just lick it inadvertently 😅 slowly and it doesn't matter at all.

I don't understand why we have to do high-level things at low levels, and forcefully lower the level.

I can't write without joining the group, the timeline is still messy, I'm still underrated, and my writing skills are not good.

Doupo If you are his good brother and need it, Anti-inflammatory will give you Source Qi. And his anti-inflammatory personality is much better than Tang San's, so maybe you'll be able to die in the right way.

Author

You can indulge in the plot if you want, can't you be more straightforward? If you have to beat around the bush, why don't you just say it's an agreement? You're beating around the bush and you're drunk.

Chapters 42-46, the protagonist started from Notting City at the age of 7, and finally arrived at Tiandou Imperial City at the age of 11. The timeline is so messed up that it makes no sense.

Do you have any recommendations for Douluo fics with slightly better writing?

To make money, don't be shabby, just lick hard.

Use a place to recommend books and ask for opinions

How about merging with Zhu Zhuqing's martial spirit to create a magical cat?

After reading it for a while, my evaluation was a piece of shit! What you write is absolutely rubbish. From the time you were 6 or 7 years old when you wrote more than 40 chapters, I probably understood that you really can't write books! Who do you think you are? The subject matter is very good and the writing is really 😰😰

Persisting in recommending books every day, Douluo: Mainland China has become my back garden 😡

Recommended book: Douluo: I, the King of Two Gods, beat Tang San violently

Recommend a new book - Peerless Tang Sect: I Simulate the Legend of the Dragon King