I Can Become Stronger by Hiding My Strength

I came across your book by chance and read the third chapter. I wanted to say something, but seeing that the author is a college student, typing while in class, and that his writing style is so immature, I felt a little unbearable. To put it simply, the book has many problems. Whether it is the perspective, the description of details, the development of the world view in the opening chapter, the image of the protagonist, the creation of other characters, the sense of substitution, the attraction index of the story, etc., It is not done well. 1. From the perspective, the characters are like puppets in your novel, including the protagonist, which is not vivid enough. During the viewing process, it feels like standing in the perspective of God, and there is a great sense of separation from the protagonist. The reasons include the lack of character creation, but also the description of necessary details, as well as the story highlights and suspense creation. The attraction is not enough, and the sense of substitution is not enough. Simply put, the readers cannot get involved. In a good work, the protagonist is the reader's eyes and senses. Everything the protagonist feels, thinks, sees, and sees will be intuitively fed back to the reader, which will directly affect the reader's mood. But yours doesn't. There is a lack of various details, the suspense of the story is not enough, it is too straightforward, and there is no sense of expectation at all. Goldfinger is also mediocre. At least the first three chapters of your story give me the feeling that I don't have much expectation for your next story. The highlights of the story, Goldfinger, and characters are too thin. 2. The expansion of the world view is not enough, and it is not attractive enough. Moreover, you have not written a lot of things that should be written. You are not required to introduce it in detail, but at least give a brief introduction. For example, you can write about how mysterious and powerful the Night Watch Division is, but you do not go into details. You have to peel off the mystery and slowly lift the veil. This is the attraction. The protagonist wanted to join. I didn't get the protagonist's strong desire to join at all. Why are you willing to give up school and want to join? But the cultivation resources you explained are far from enough. 3. The background of the story is the same as above. After the dramatic changes in the world, the pan-influence it brought to people is too vague. As a result, there is not much expectation for the background of the era where the protagonist lives and the subsequent development of the story. It is more or less a reflection of the world view. , The background of the story, after spending a little bit of pen and ink, you must learn to use the technique of leaving blank, whether it is to introduce the power, the background, or what kind of world you are in. You must leave blank and not explain it thoroughly. You must strengthen the creation of suspense and attraction, and give readers room for expectation and imagination. It's like Hemingway's idea of ​​the tip of the iceberg. 4. Character image, what does the protagonist look like, what does his parents look like, what clothes he wears, and any particularly eye-catching features. You can't be very vivid, but at least write it briefly. You are too tooly now, not friendly, and you don't even have facial makeup. You can look at the character description in Water Margin, Lu Zhishen: He has a round face and big ears, a straight nose and a square mouth, and a beard on his cheeks. Eight feet in length. The waist is ten circumferences wide. Song Jiang's eyes are like red phoenixes, and his eyebrows are like silkworms... As soon as the reader takes a look, he will probably have an impression in his mind. You are not required to write a few hundred words about his nose and eyes. You should focus on the key points and highlight his characteristics. If you don't write anything, who knows who your protagonist is, it will be even more difficult to relate to it. 5. Finally, let's talk about Goldfinger. It feels ordinary, gimmicky, not interesting enough, and not novel. There is nothing much to say about this. You said that you have been reading books for several years, so you should be able to distinguish it, so I won't go into details. 6. The highlight can be the plot, the unique character setting, a cheat, or even the big story background. . A book must be interesting, and yours is almost interesting now. . For example, after traveling through time, the protagonist discovers that he is an anti-virus software or a cell, and discovers that he is a gold finger assisting the pseudo-protagonist... Or the gimmicky gold finger, the sacrifice system, the krypton gold system... (I am just giving this example casually, in fact, the krypton gold system has also been used badly, you just need to understand what I mean). As for the plot, I remember there was a book before the starting point, which was about time travel. The protagonist lived in modern times and could transform the future by changing the real world. I can't remember the details. ………… To sum up, there are many aspects to look at, and it depends on how you design it. The above is just one person's opinion and is for reference only. If you don't like it, don't criticize it, because I also write fantasy.

From the assistant, I always thought it was a girl qaq (why did I have such a misunderstanding...?? Oh, maybe she is soft-spoken, orzzx) It wasn't until I said, "Dad, I'm back" that I realized it was a little brother with a very suave voice... whatever has been collected. Come on! !

I'm here as an assistant, come on brother

Very good. I hope they can pay more attention to the details. Personally, I think his father is too calm. Generally, if he knows that someone is reborn, he will want to know the future fate. You can explain it casually later, for example, he is afraid that the secret will be leaked and he will be struck by lightning.

This post is to post some pictures of formations and the like that I wrote\^O^/

Newbie, new book? I'll be the first to leave a message! 😁

The introduction is quite interesting Let me post it first in case it becomes popular😏

Let's work together 😡

I came from an assistant. I originally wanted to encourage each other as newcomers, but unexpectedly...160 Recommendation votes... I'm embarrassed to say that you follow me 😭

Memorize word posts, get up early every day and memorize words

Happy National Day! I wish the book a huge hit!

Dear readers, I am a newbie in writing. Please search for "The Strongest Unknown in History" on this website, put it in your bookshelf, and give it a follow. Please support the newcomer's work. Maybe your comments will determine the direction of the work. Amen, on behalf of my manufacturer, thank you!

This is a recommended vote! (┯_┯)

Wow, come on, keep writing, only by writing more can you improve your writing skills 😜

Very well written, keep up the support

With this number of recommended votes, there's no problem signing up! My big brother

The assistant is here. The writing is really good. Come on!

I'm optimistic about you 👍 Come on

The novel is so beautiful and will help you attract more readers. Douyin Find Pandora Tweets