The Prince's Concubine's Rebellion Strategy

I am the beloved eldest princess of the Southern Chu Kingdom. And my cowardly father has the heart to send me to the bitterly cold Northern Yan to marry a ferocious, bloodthirsty barbarian warlord. I’d be better off sneaking out of the palace to find a handsome young man and sail the rivers and lakes with him, making a romantic story of our own. I found him. His clothes were shabby and he looked poor, but that was fine. I had money. I hurried to treat him to a lavish meal to bring us closer, but we turned out to have completely different values. I was so angry that I scratched his face and dumped him on the spot. Hmph! That’ll teach you to use your good looks to charm an innocent young woman! Months later, the Northern Yan army was at our gates. The barbarian warlord at its head made a bold demand: if I spent one night celebrating with him, everything could be negotiated! Who was this arrogant man? I looked down from the city wall and realized it was the young man who had once planned to sail the rivers and lakes with me! He galloped into battle, driving my Great Chu forces back at every turn. That very night, he carried me into his command tent... Northern Yan barbarians, you’ve gone too far! Just wait until I tear your home apart! You like my face, don’t you? Then I’ll make you fall for me! You’ve fallen in love with me? Then I’ll make your life miserable! You want to conquer the world? Then I’ll set fire to your whole household! You’ve never lost a battle? Then I’ll make you cry on the battlefield! You’re cruel, domineering, and bloodthirsty? Then I’ll read you poetry and the Confucian classics every day and teach you how to behave! I keep committing treason, Your Highness. Are you going to punish me or punish me?