Kunpeng System of All Heavens and Worlds

First of all, I'm sorry. It only took me fifteen minutes to read thirty chapters, but I think I can give you some suggestions based on my many years of reading experience and as a literature lover. If there are any fallacies, please correct them. Disadvantages: 1. The settings are too complicated and it is difficult for readers to remember such complex settings. Difficulty remembering will result in a weak sense of substitution and loss of interest. Setting is the soul of an online article. If the soul cannot capture people, this is the biggest failure. 2. There is a problem with the use of punctuation. The first is best to have after the paragraph. ! ? These, otherwise it would be confusing to end a paragraph without punctuation. Secondly, the author loves to use ellipsis too much. Ellipses used well will indeed give people a sense of endless aftertaste, but if they are too frequent, they will give people the feeling of a primary school student who doesn't know how to end the article and leaves "...". Too many, too annoying ヽ('⌒´メ)ノ 3. The writing is slightly literary. This does not refer to smooth writing, but to childish literary youth. This is a mistake that most new writers make, and most authors are no exception. When the article is relatively complete in other aspects, appropriate literary youth will add points and color. However, when there are problems everywhere in the article, it is a disaster for the literary youth, making the article like a flower in the mirror and the moon in the water, making it difficult for people to understand. 4. The narration is too redundant. After a character in a text speaks a sentence or does something, there is often an inner monologue attached to it. Ultimately it's a question of moderation. If this monologue is appropriate, you can refer to "Love Apartment" to make the work clearer and easier to understand. If it is excessive, it will give people the feeling of "this guy is in the water" and add to the sense of disgust. And excessive monologues will interrupt the flow of the text and make it choppy, just like advertisements that suddenly pop up while playing a game. 5. The character perspective changes too frequently. Same as above, the problem of excess. 6. The pace is too fast. There are too many realms, so the pace is too fast and incomprehensible in order to speed up. The root of this problem is still setting, so this is difficult to save. (Unless the subsequent author eats the setting 😁) 7. The discourse is too Internet-speaking. Such as "emmmmm", "", "That's it?" And the like. Same as above, the question is whether it is appropriate. Appropriate networking will increase the plot points and slightly relax the reader's tension, but excessive use will result in no sense of immersion. Advantages: 1. Although setting is a shortcoming, it also has its good side. Because it is complicated, it is perfect. 2. Of course, it's the burning creative soul of the author 😁 that has been generating electricity for love for so long. I'm really moved, so I'll give you some suggestions. I hope the next book will be a big hit.

The author asked if he could leave the reason here after canceling the collection, otherwise the author would be very confused.

Book title, introduction, general content, and development trend of the story

The title of the book is not good, the introduction is weak, and it leaves readers disappointed

What a humble author😭😭 Come on (ง •̀_•́)ง It's too difficult to generate electricity for love

It's a pity that this book was not signed, so I gave a red envelope to support it. By the way, this is the first time I charge money after my last account was blocked 😁 Author, I will leave it to you for the first time 😢