At the Age of Twenty-Nine, I Am a Bit Impatient

I have a strong mother and a cowardly father. I have an elite sister and an academic younger brother. I have lived in the cracks since I was a child, and I have a set of rules for survival, which is to reduce my sense of existence. Don't stand out, have no independent opinions, don't cause trouble... I will never fall in love when I am in school, I will never be single when I am in love, I will marry myself before I am thirty, and achieve my perfect life. But when I was still one year away from turning 30, I lost my job and was divorced... When you reach the extreme point of decline, you realize that there is an even worse one waiting for you. When all values are overthrown, haha, go to hell with your perfect life! Sister, I'm just not perfect anymore, what's wrong?