Zi Zhengyin

Newbie Xiaobai's long review is here! ! ! Read six chapters carefully, briefly read ten chapters, and tell me a little bit about my thoughts. The first few chapters of the author's book (because I have read a few chapters 😭😭😭) have a great sense of rhythm in the description of scenes and dialogues. Because the protagonist is a girl, the playful and brisk way of expression is very pleasing. Who doesn't want to be a little public servant who is loved by thousands of people deep down in his heart? 😌😌😌 And some details are well arranged. For example, jade was used to explain the problem of purple energy at the centenary banquet. It is reasonable, reflects the family's care, and also lays the foundation. But problems also arise. This book has a wedge, that is to say, at the beginning, the reader has a certain understanding of what kind of story the author is going to tell, the background of the story, and the general main contradiction. So with this understanding, the main line of the text should be clearer and more prominent. However, in the first few chapters written by the author, the main line is still relatively blurry. Why are rebirth and time travel stories so popular? Because the character does not need to be developed slowly, the main line is prominent and contradictory. But in the author's big book, these things are downplayed. What is difficult to solve in the early stage of a time-travel novel and is also one of the highlights is the changes in the protagonist's heart and behavior caused by changes in the environment, as well as the advantages of time-travelers and reborn ones. But in the author's big book, after the protagonist travels through time, although he brings with him the previous thinking logic and learning ability, more importantly, he grows up step by step according to the logic and thinking of his family. What the protagonist can do is to complain from his own perspective and live a carefree life. The meaning of time travel is not clear. Secondly, the protagonist can be the guts of a book, but it cannot be the entire book. In the first few chapters, the world or this family seems to be the protagonist's new toy. The protagonist always comes first, transcending the story. Personally, I think that all supporting characters and protagonists serve the story. The protagonist's perspective is the reader's perspective. Readers should use this perspective to discover and explore, rather than using this perspective to see everyone surrounding them. Where is the reason? I think that the protagonist must have been vividly portrayed in the author's mind, so without realizing it, he would use the protagonist as the starting point and ending point of all the plots. Mr. Jin Yong said that among the characters in his works, his favorite was Wei Xiaobao. Mr. Jin probably loved this character so much that he married him so many wives, made him wear golden armor and hold a musket, and allowed him to deal with many forces with his cleverness. But in this process, Wei Xiaobao's main line was not interrupted. The wives jumped out one by one along with the main line. The powerful bosses and Wei Xiaobao created wonderful stories one after another around the plot. Without the main line, Wei Xiaobao had nothing. So the author wants the protagonist to serve the main line, rather than the main line serving the protagonist. For example, the big guys written in the wedge bear the burden of the rise and fall of this world, but in the protagonist's case, just like Santa Claus, Yokawa, who leads the protagonist, is full of doubts when he first meets the protagonist. The next second, he takes the protagonist through time and encourages others to give the protagonist gifts 🤭🤭🤭. The protagonist's family members all have magical powers and prominent status. But there is nothing serious to do every day, he is not in an important position, he does not care about the common people, and he has no friends or enemies who surround the protagonist every day. It's not that it can't be done, but I believe that these supporting characters will definitely play a role in promoting the plot in the future. After a few chapters, the supporting characters who only live around the protagonist will make the characters pale. When used in the future, they will be very stiff and have no sense of substitution. Just like the protagonist's grandfather and brother, the first reaction when seeing the ancient artifact in the protagonist's hand is: Great, now I feel relieved! This is typical of only focusing on the protagonist. As long as all the good things are yours, we don't care about anything else. Uh. . . What is the cultivation level of the protagonist's grandfather? What kind of experience should you have? If you don't understand the principle that with great power comes greater responsibility, if you think about the immortal's intention of giving his granddaughter the artifact, you should also understand that ordinary people are not guilty, but they are guilty of possessing the treasure. If the protagonist doesn't want him to think about it, then he really doesn't want to think about it. Back to the protagonist, the character is vivid, but a little self-conscious. Without thinking about the meaning of the book her parents gave her, and without thinking about how she should go about her new life, what's the point of a few big guys working hard to find the protagonist from another world? Good luck? As it stands now, whoever the big bosses look for and give something to, will have great luck. Chuezi also said, build one yourself, then find a local one, wouldn't he be good? Why the heroine? At least as far as the heroine is concerned, I can't find the answer. So, I personally think that the author should step out of the role and think about the story and main line. The starting point of this book is that the author wants to write a story about the protagonist, but the ending point must be that the story is the main line. It is the story that gives vivid life to the protagonist. 😁😁😁 Xiaobai commentaries generally talk about problems, so the author should not mind! ! ! And I'm also very good, so what I say may not be right 😭😭😭 Finally, I hope you can work hard! ! ! Uh. . . Finally, can you let me advertise and give me some extra juice? 😁😁😁

It's a very nice book, the painting style is very right, and the story environment is well described.

I hope everyone can comment here on their feelings after reading the book. Whether it is good or bad, it will help Zi Zhengyin grow up quickly! The novice author will also refine the published chapters with everyone's opinions~ Leave what you want to say here~

Dang Dang Dang ~ I'm coming! The good books have been collected, and the grass has been planted. Big cheers for the author! Explosive and even more popular㊗️Big seller🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I feel like Luo Yan is so cute. Come on, author!

Received, invested, well written, keep up the good work.

Miss Sister, the heroine's time-travel outfits are so unique and creative. 😁😁😁

I'm here. Come on, the author. Your writing is great.

Let me tell you whether the progress of my story is fast or slow...

Awesome

The writing is very good! Support! Come on💪🏻

The writing is very good. I suggest that the main line be clearer. I also have a small suggestion. I think the author mainly promotes the rhythm of the plot through dialogue. I suggest that the dialogue can be divided into separate sections to make it more comfortable to watch on mobile phones.

I should change the first chapter because the dialogue seems too boring. There are two suggestions. The first one is to directly delete the first chapter and then rewrite it, focusing on the world view and not the background of the protagonist's birth. The second option is to delete the first chapter and move the second chapter directly over.

Dear writer, your new book is very good. I have joined the new book investment group. Please update~

The contract was signed for 100,000 words. Why did you give up before it reached 100,000 words? When you start again, you have to write 100,000 words. I am a newbie and I don't understand why? Find Solution