This Time I Want to Be a Star

I read two chapters and couldn't stand it because I wasn't interested, but I forced myself to read 17 chapters to get my thoughts. ① Your beginning reminds me of the boss of "Ya She", but obviously Wen Ming did not leave such a good impression on me. ② There are many typos and grammatical errors. I have posted some typos in this chapter in your book. You can just correct them yourself. "Basically spent 90% of Wenming's savings" I think you can go back to junior high school to learn how to correct sentences, and then you will know what mistakes you made. ③As an "old demon" who has lived for more than 1,500 years, Wen Ming was actually startled by the sudden voice? ④ I have to say that the protagonist Goldfinger is too big, which makes your writing pace very fast. You are only about 50,000 words now, and you feel that the protagonist is already very awesome. Will the rest of the story be about the protagonist torturing the scum and reaching the pinnacle of his life before writing about his various football games? ⑤ If you don't know how to write the romance part, don't write it. The interaction between Wen Ming and Liu Feifei is embarrassing, and, "Brother Wen"? Are you sure a famous female star calls a college student that way? The progress between these two people is too fast, and falling in love at first sight is not so fast, right? ⑥The protagonist is too arrogant, so arrogant that it makes people want to abandon the article. If he really wants to abuse the scum, I hope the author can control the temper and avoid being annoying. ⑦ There are so many parts in the article used to write about the parameters of the protagonist that it makes me suspect that you are over-counting the number of words. ⑧Your writing style is good, but your writing style is slightly inferior. The scenes you wrote about playing basketball are really good. It reminded me of the scenes of playing basketball in the novel. Personal thoughts, for reference only.

Here comes Jiangjiang, a bench in the front row, melon seeds, soda, and small puff pastry.

What does the data in brackets mean?

How ridiculous, 16 years old, participating in a talent show? Is it funny?

Thank you so much for your votes~❤️

I really can't stand it. Goodbye everyone, maybe it's my own relationship. Take your time and take your time. Don't bite the bullet and write that emotion if you can't write it well.

1500 Years, unnecessary move

If the author doesn't know how to write emotionally, don't force it. The dialogue is too awkward. The heroine Liu Feifei is Liu Yifei, right? How can she be so free? She is dating you every day in the United States. Moreover, Liu is a big girl from Beijing. Her personality is different from what you wrote. In addition, Liu Yifei and Yi Jianlian should be dating or have a crush on each other during this period.

Old bookworms may not be able to read it.

You are reborn and systematic and don't understand.

Now that I am poor, I can only give you one collection... I will invest in you when I have a quota!

Let's just focus on writing about football. I directly suspect that the author has never been in love! So embarrassing

The taste is so poor and I can't find a pretty one.

I feel like the author is not suitable for the basketball subject matter. Doomsday and virtual network, or data-based Xianxia should be very good. Take a few glances as you pass by, don't be offended if you make a mistake

Liu Feifei = Liu Yifei, this novel is written, haha! If you want to write a competitive basketball novel and also write about the entertainment industry, then what's your real name! No other words are ok! It doesn't matter if he changed his name.

How do I remember not selling you alcohol when I was 17?