Master, Don't Come Here

1. Regarding the choice of words and sentences: Some language expressions are not complete enough. Although ancient style articles should be written with ancient meanings, there are some places where the sentences cannot be incomplete in order to maintain the ancient meanings. 2. Regarding large sections of memories: The early memories about the heroine's previous life were too concentrated and not brief enough. Although the detailed narrative can give people a good understanding of the heroine's past life experiences. But for most readers, they want to see the heroine's life as soon as possible. In this case, you can just write about the ending of the heroine's past life first, and the others can wait until you meet these people or be drawn out by some things. If you have to finish it all at once, you can simplify the sentences and don't add too many modifiers. 3. Regarding plot advancement: a bit slow. If cultivating immortality is the main thing and love is the supplement, there is nothing to say. But this article is mainly about love. Let's not talk about any progress between the heroine and the hero, but it's nearly 70,000 words, and the hero and heroine haven't officially met yet. It feels like it's too comprehensive, and every little point is written in great detail, which makes it seem draggy. 4. Regarding the portrayal of the heroine: The heroine began to be positioned as "well-behaved", which is a very good setting. Because in comparison, well-behaved children are indeed more likely to gain the kindness of others. But when portraying the image of the heroine, it seemed a bit too deliberate in the early stage. Many times when the heroine talks and looks at others, whether it is the other person's opinion or the author's monologue, she will deliberately point out the word "well-behaved". Two in one place is fine, but if there are more, it will be very deliberate. 5. Regarding the halo of the protagonist: I don't know if making people likeable is a good halo set for the heroine. If so, there's not much to say. If not, it will give people the feeling of Susu. It seems that wherever she goes, the heroine receives a wave of goodwill. Although one should not judge people with the most malicious thoughts, it is undeniable that most people in the world of cultivation will deliberately keep some distance when facing people they meet for the first time. 6. Regarding longer dialogues: Large paragraphs of explanation are an indispensable part of the cultivation literature. If you don't write it, the setting will be incomplete; if you write it, the character dialogue will seem too lengthy. It's okay to describe the characters in movies and TV shows, but it's easy to skip them in a novel if they are written out in large sections. Therefore, you can separate one or more paragraphs and add separate quotation marks. It's not like a page is full of words spoken by a certain character, but it looks like the author's monologue. Finally, I beg the heroine and Shi Lan not to fight each other, and not over a man. Too unattractive.

It's a good book. I'll save it and hope to keep it updated. By the way, I would like to recommend my work "Spiritual Master Volume".