Doomsday Salvation

After an asteroid hits the earth, plague and war ensue... Is all this just a huge conspiracy of alien invasion? Want to sell me to other planets? Look how I destroy your base! Dare to destroy my home? I want you to pay the price you deserve! Want to fight an interstellar battle? I'll stay with you until the end! Playing black? No problem! Do you know who is the largest arms dealer in the universe? That's my buddy! Do you know who the next designated referee of the Universe Alliance is? That's my brother! Do you know who the scientist who is known as the greatest genius in the universe is? Hehe, that's my man! Do you know who I am? Hehe, what do you want me to tell you?