This Herb Is Taken, So Keep Your Hands Off

[One couple, with a teacher-student romance. A little angst adds sweetness.]

They were often seen coming and going together. Wherever he was, she was sure to be there, and wherever she was, he was often there too. They had never said they loved each other, but anyone with eyes could see the tangled, tug-of-war affection in their gazes. Everything happened so naturally, so simply, as if it were meant to be. She said she couldn’t imagine the distant future, but she liked being with him. He said he didn’t know what love was, but he liked being with her too.

Her surname was Hua, and her given name was Xinzi. This was the one thing she was completely happy with her own dear mother about: without a doubt, she loved her name to bits.

Hua Xinzi was an older single woman. After graduating from graduate school, she landed a cushy position as a counselor in the economics and law department of Z University, a prestigious school famous both at home and abroad. If her “market value” were measured by the number of men keeping her as a backup, she would have at most one or two half-backups. A textbook leftover woman.

She was odd.

She often had no idea what was going on.

She often forgot her real age.

Thirty was a bottomless abyss. Fall in, and you’d be shattered to pieces. She was about to turn thirty.

He was Yan Se, twenty-two years old. The youngest in his family, the only son, and the apple of the Yan family’s eye. He had gotten his wish and enrolled as a graduate student at Z University, a well-known school in W City.

He was young.

He was smart, kind, quick-witted, and funny.

He was often innocent, though occasionally worldly.

She was his teacher. He flat-out refused to acknowledge her as one.

She told him, “Little Se, you’re so handsome. Those dark, grape-like eyes beneath your long, fluttering lashes look at me so clearly and purely, and they always capture my whole heart in an instant. I’d gladly lose myself in them for three lifetimes.”

Scene One:

The first class meeting.

Amid the noisy crowd, bored Yan Se called Hua Xinzi.

“Radish, what are you doing?”

“Working.”

“We’re having our class meeting. I wonder if our counselor is a man or a woman, handsome or ugly.”

“I’m a little busy. Won’t you be meeting them in a minute?”

“But I’m so excited.”

“Mm, I know. I have to go, I’m busy.”

“All right.”

After hanging up, Yan Se slumped over the desk, half asleep. His roommate, Zhou Botong, reached out with two fingers and pinched his nose.

“Hey, hey, Young Master Yan, your Radish senior is here to see you.”

“Ugh, quit it. I’m tired. Let me sleep.” It wasn’t until a soft, gentle voice drifted over that Yan Se finally opened his sleepy eyes.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Hua Xinzi, your counselor in the economics and law department. Welcome!”

Scene Two:

The school’s south cafeteria.

“Want to know how a girl should beat her romantic rivals, or potential rivals?”

“Of course! Teacher Hua, please tell us.” Hua Xinzi looked up at the female students who had been surrounding Yan Se and were now gathered around her. She reached out with her right hand and turned Yan Se’s still-dazed face toward her. As Hua Xinzi’s face loomed closer and closer, he instinctively closed his eyes.

“Ah! Teacher Hua! You, you and Yan Se...”

“This grass already belongs to someone, so don’t even think about him.” Hua Xinzi broke off their kiss and smiled brightly.

Hua Xinzi led Yan Se away by the hand, passing the red-faced, stunned female students. She even tossed them a parting line: “That’s teaching by example. Pretty righteous of me, huh?”

Scene Three:

Thailand, living room of Hua Xinzi’s home.

“Radish, who’s this man? Didn’t you tell him only I get to kiss you?” After his furious interrogation, the little fellow waited thirty seconds before having to admit that he had been spectacularly ignored. He rubbed his forehead, made a show of wiping away cold sweat, glared fiercely at the man who was taking advantage of Hua Xinzi right in front of him, then reached out to tug at her waist-length hair.

The tug hurt Hua Xinzi’s scalp. She kicked out with her long leg, and the little guy landed on his bottom.

“Go sit over there. Because of you, I haven’t had a man in five years. You dare ruin things for me today, and don’t you ever ask me for a man again!”

“All right, all right, I know...”