Revolt Against the Immortals and Demons

From the first few chapters, you can see the author's efforts in controlling the text. Unfortunately, he tried too hard, too much, and left traces if he missed it. Sometimes, it is good to be concise and clear, but literary style is also very important. Whether it can make people read it in one go is to have a lively and refreshing feeling. This requires paying attention to the timing of sentence breaks and the use of appropriate long sentences. It is recommended that after you finish writing a chapter, read it aloud to feel whether your sentence breaks are in line with the rhythm and whether you stop at the right place. In addition to reading the sound, you can also record it and play it to yourself. This will help you more intuitively understand the importance of breathing and sentence breaks. In addition, when describing the scene, you must keep in mind your own background setting and what kind of era this era is. You must be careful when using words. For example, Chapter 3 mentioned, "On the light shield, cracks appeared and spread, like glass breaking, with a crisp sound." Is there "glass" in your background setting? I don't know why, when I read this scene, I felt like something was wrong. . . The obvious problem in the first few chapters is that the description of expressions is too rigid. It seems that Xiao Qitian only has one or two expressions: a face of ridicule and sneer. If such a narrative is repeated many times, it will lack a sense of vividness. If you want to describe it in more detail, you can start from the eyebrows, eyes, and corners of the mouth, such as slightly raised eyebrows, cold eyes, cold flashes in the eyes, tight corners of the mouth, raised corners of the mouth, etc. There are many facial expressions, which can make the writing more dramatic. In addition, I suggest that the author combine the changes in chapters one to two into "wedges", which may be more appropriate, because after the third chapter, a completely different chapter opens, and it can be said that the story really begins. Ps1. Turning to the later chapters, you can see the author's progress, the harshness gradually fades away, and the writing becomes better and better, which is worthy of recognition! Ps2. It actually took me an hour to write this short book review. . .

I gave it up decisively. The bookshelf I added just because of your name has been kept for so long, which is disappointing.

The pig's trotters are just like a second-rate guy, and he is always so self-righteous. I wonder how a pig's trotters with such a rubbish IQ can survive.

Extremely poisonous! After reading about ten chapters, the protagonist's process of leaving the sect is comparable to the IQ of a primary school student's story composition.

In this era of book shortages, there are book shortages everywhere. My friend, I came over to take a look. I fell into a pit. A tripod takes you to a different world. A book with deep pits everywhere but you have to climb. I have finished identifying this book. It is poisonous. Xiao Qitian is poisonous. Please keep an eye on it and be careful not to enter this pit.

Eunuch Hai was also a decent man before he entered the palace 🙂🙂🙂 Please stick the incense stick and leave.

Hey, Brother Hai suddenly showed up to write a few chapters. What does that mean? Want to continue?

The protagonist is too bb, the plot is too slow, it hurts my eyes to watch it

I can't stand it anymore after reading about 40 chapters. I really don't have the ability to just care about this and that. I keep thinking about who I am, Xuantian Sword Master, all day long. You are just a person with a broken Dantian now.

I can't stand it anymore after reading Chapter 9 ~ SB