The Wife Tames Her Husband

Is this some kind of joke?

How did she end up with a father like that? Fine, he likes gambling, but why did he have to gamble her into a husband?

She refused to marry him, but her old man resorted to crying, making a scene, and threatening to hang himself.

Fine, she’d accept her fate. What else could she do? He was the only father she had.

So she’d marry him.

Once she was there, she’d make the man write her a letter of divorce. Easy!

What? On the very first day of their marriage, before she could even ask for a divorce, that bastard wanted to divorce her?

Is this some kind of joke? If you don’t want to marry me, I don’t want to marry you either!

If I’m going to like anyone, it’ll be a bold, gallant man, not a dead pansy who looks like some kind of demon.

You want to divorce me? Not a chance! If you divorce me on my very first day here, I’ll lose face.

Besides, if anyone’s going to divorce anyone, I’m the one who’ll divorce you!

What, now you don’t want to divorce me?

Fine. Since you want to play, I’ll play along to the bitter end. Just watch me turn your household upside down!

His father was far too ruthless. He gambled with someone and won himself a wife.

Fine, if you won, then you won. But couldn’t you at least have won me a gentle, virtuous wife?

Why did you have to win me a sharp-tongued, troublesome, martial-arts-mastering demon with not a shred of femininity?

What kind of bad karma did I have in a past life to deserve this? On our wedding night, the woman I wanted to divorce kicked me flat on my back!

I’m no gentleman if I don’t get revenge. You’re so eager for me to divorce you, aren’t you?

I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided not to divorce you.

I’ll play along with you nice and slow. Let’s see who gets the better of whom!

But wait, why does this woman not only love her wine and money, but also behave so frivolously?

And she actually flirts with my best friend right in front of me.

What kind of monster did I marry?

Why is there not a single thing a woman ought to have that I can see in my new bride?

Excerpt One: “Woman, don’t you know what the Three Obediences and Four Virtues are?” a man said, his face dark with anger.

“What in the world are those?” the woman asked, scratching her head in confusion.

“The Three Obediences are: first, obey your father at home; second, obey your husband after marriage; third, obey your son after your husband dies. The Four Virtues are: first, upright character; second, dignified appearance; third, modest speech; fourth, skill in managing a household. Since you’ve married me, you must abide by the Three Obediences and Four Virtues expected of a woman,” the man explained solemnly.

“Sorry, I always thought the Three Obediences meant: first, obey your wife; second, obey your wife; third, still obey your wife! And the Four Virtues meant: listen when your wife speaks, soothe her when she’s angry, follow her when she goes out, and spend generously when she wants money!” the woman declared, holding her head high.

Excerpt Two: “I’m sorry, Young Master. The Young Madam says anyone who wants to enter her room has to make an appointment three days in advance,” the maid, Xiaocui, said timidly, glancing at the man.

“I made an appointment three days ago,” the man said with a frown.

“I’m sorry, Young Master. Madam says that even if you made an appointment three days ago, you still have to pay one thousand taels for a conversation at the door,” Xiaocui said, trembling.

“Here’s ten thousand taels. I’ll pay for the next several visits in advance,” the man said, his expression dark.

“I’m sorry, Young Master. Madam also says that even after paying, you have to recite her version of the Three Obediences and Four Virtues at the door before you can enter!” Xiaocui said, biting her lip.

The man’s face turned livid as he kicked the door open...

Excerpt Three: “Madam, this is terrible! The Young Master has gone to the brothel to drink and enjoy the company of courtesans!” Xiaocui cried excitedly.

“Oh? Is that so? Bring me the golden chain I finished making yesterday,” the woman said calmly.

“Madam, are you going to whip the Young Master with that golden chain?” Xiaocui asked curiously.

“No. I’m going to use it to drag him back,” the woman replied nonchalantly.

A flock of crows flew over Xiaocui’s head...

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