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If I could describe my life experience in one sentence, it would be: I don't like being an outsider. At the age of 30, I have been thinking about one thing for more than ten years. What am I doing with my life? I admit that no one wants to see words like depression and anxiety, but there is nothing we can do about it. What I can write about is so narrow that I can only talk about this. My experience is very ordinary. There are two types of people I meet: ordinary and elite. The elite are indeed the real elite. They are bachelors, masters, and doctoral students from universities such as Tsinghua University, Peking University, Zhejiang University, and Renmin University. Of course, I am one of them, a high school dropout. These ordinary people are about the same age as me. Only one of them is physically and mentally healthy and has a harmonious family. After chatting with some people, I compiled and wrote this semi-autobiographical novel. Although it raised many practical questions during the writing process, I could not find the answers. If you read my novel, I hope it didn't cause any trouble to you. Everyone talks about creating happiness and being happy. What I thought of when I opened my eyes was, ah! This day has started again, how can I survive? The only proof to myself that I am still alive is probably three meals a day.

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