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帮助数百万读者找到自我，给予女性重塑生活的力量（美国女性成长书系全7册）
(u. S.) Harriet Lerner
Uninvited guests in life: Beyond fear, anxiety and shame, live a free life: Modern people, whether in work or in life, have a general sense of pressure, so there are laments on the Internet about "a lot of pressure". The direct consequence of "high pressure" is mental anxiety: anxiety about entering higher education, anxiety about job hunting, anxiety about marriage and love, anxiety about promotion, anxiety about illness... Anxiety is everywhere. Nervousness and anxiety are essentially fears hidden in the heart. Modern civilization has largely freed humans from direct life threats such as wild beasts, but fear has not been eliminated and cannot be eliminated, because as the author of this book says, anxiety, fear, and shame are uninvited guests that break into our lives, and we cannot shut them out. Focusing on the topic of fear and combining it with psychological knowledge, the author tells us the stories of ordinary people from the 1970s to the early 21st century. For modern Chinese readers, these ordinary stories will not feel strange or alienated despite the distance of time and space, because China has entered a modern society, and modern people's lifestyles, emotional concepts, and psychological distress have generally converged. I believe that Chinese readers can also feel the joys, sorrows and joys of ordinary Americans in the book through the translation, as well as the author's humor, wisdom and sincere persuasion. Why You Don't Apologize: Dr. Lerner emphasizes the importance of apologizing and explains how apologizing can help, hurt, or save your relationships. She likens the challenge of apologizing and reconciling to a dance between two or more people, and while apologizing isn't the only way to uncover underlying issues, it does serve as a great way to pave the way for future communication. This book will teach you how to deliver a sincere and profound apology, avoid meaningless apologies, and teach you how to identify those apologies that are outright cunning and mean-spirited. What It Means to Be a Mom: How Children Can Change Your Life : There are many types of mothers, families vary greatly, and as a mother you face countless problems and challenges. This book is not intended to be all-inclusive, and every mother's experience is both universal and unique. No two mothers' journeys through this treacherous territory of parenting are alike. Klein quotes Gloria Steinem in her book: "Perhaps we share our stories in the same way that explorers share maps. We want to speed up each other's progress, but don't forget that we have to complete the journey ourselves." Angry Dance: The Art of Emotional Expression in Intimate Relationships: I wrote this book by chance. When a New York publisher asked me to write a popular book about female rage, I was surprised but thought it was a good idea. I have been thinking very carefully about this issue and am determined to do so. Before this, I had only published articles in academic journals; now, I have the opportunity to express my theory in plain language for general readers, and I am looking forward to this attempt. After I was invited, I received an advance of $7,000, which was a lot of money at the time, especially in a place like Topeka, Kansas. It was a bit pie-in-the-sky. The Dance of Communication: The Art of Language in Intimate Relationships: Adults rarely make this choice. Because along with the anger, resentment, and hurt in an argument, we also measure time terribly. Although we know that life is short, we will not go back to the sand pit unless the other person gives in first and admits that they were wrong. We desperately need the scales of justice to remain balanced, but often lock ourselves into a negative state and sacrifice our own happiness and joy. The Dance of Relationships: The Art of Being Together Both Intimately and Independently: This book focuses on personal change and intimacy, which is of course a personal topic. But I hope that each of us can strive to take on a more courageous and effective role in social change. The larger environment in which we live (what we call the "social," "political," "societal," or "cultural" environment) shapes and determines our most intimate interactions and our definition of family. The Dance of Truth: How to Be Your True Self in Intimate Relationships: The number of women in the world exceeds half of the world's population. However, the female group has no de facto economic and political status and lacks social prestige. We are taught to pretend that this status quo is the result of our special roles as wives and mothers of men, and we are taught to tolerate, even to be comfortable with, this status quo. Think about it, if women could fully express their weighty opinions in language, politics, culture, etc., How much the world's concepts of "real" and "important" would change. The pursuit of personal and political correctness is never-ending, but in the process of pursuit, some people or groups will choose to sacrifice others. But this does not prevent us from still looking forward to this world, and we look forward to the dignity and integrity of all women, humans and creatures in this world receiving due respect, and we will continue to work hard for this. Today we can live by the values we want to live up to in the future, in the hope that these values will dominate the world. Respecting the diversity, complexity, inclusion and connection of life is the path to truth for each of us.
Uninvited guests in life: Beyond fear, anxiety and shame, live a free life: Modern people, whether in work or in life, have a general sense of pressure, so there are laments on the Internet about "a lot of pressure". The direct consequence of "high pressure" is mental anxiety: anxiety about entering higher education, anxiety about job hunting, anxiety about marriage and love, anxiety about promotion, anxiety about illness... Anxiety is everywhere. Nervousness and anxiety are essentially fears hidden in the heart. Modern civilization has largely freed humans from direct life threats such as wild beasts, but fear has not been eliminated and cannot be eliminated, because as the author of this book says, anxiety, fear, and shame are uninvited guests that break into our lives, and we cannot shut them out. Focusing on the topic of fear and combining it with psychological knowledge, the author tells us the stories of ordinary people from the 1970s to the early 21st century. For modern Chinese readers, these ordinary stories will not feel strange or alienated despite the distance of time and space, because China has entered a modern society, and modern people's lifestyles, emotional concepts, and psychological distress have generally converged. I believe that Chinese readers can also feel the joys, sorrows and joys of ordinary Americans in the book through the translation, as well as the author's humor, wisdom and sincere persuasion. Why You Don't Apologize: Dr. Lerner emphasizes the importance of apologizing and explains how apologizing can help, hurt, or save your relationships. She likens the challenge of apologizing and reconciling to a dance between two or more people, and while apologizing isn't the only way to uncover underlying issues, it does serve as a great way to pave the way for future communication. This book will teach you how to deliver a sincere and profound apology, avoid meaningless apologies, and teach you how to identify those apologies that are outright cunning and mean-spirited. What It Means to Be a Mom: How Children Can Change Your Life : There are many types of mothers, families vary greatly, and as a mother you face countless problems and challenges. This book is not intended to be all-inclusive, and every mother's experience is both universal and unique. No two mothers' journeys through this treacherous territory of parenting are alike. Klein quotes Gloria Steinem in her book: "Perhaps we share our stories in the same way that explorers share maps. We want to speed up each other's progress, but don't forget that we have to complete the journey ourselves." Angry Dance: The Art of Emotional Expression in Intimate Relationships: I wrote this book by chance. When a New York publisher asked me to write a popular book about female rage, I was surprised but thought it was a good idea. I have been thinking very carefully about this issue and am determined to do so. Before this, I had only published articles in academic journals; now, I have the opportunity to express my theory in plain language for general readers, and I am looking forward to this attempt. After I was invited, I received an advance of $7,000, which was a lot of money at the time, especially in a place like Topeka, Kansas. It was a bit pie-in-the-sky. The Dance of Communication: The Art of Language in Intimate Relationships: Adults rarely make this choice. Because along with the anger, resentment, and hurt in an argument, we also measure time terribly. Although we know that life is short, we will not go back to the sand pit unless the other person gives in first and admits that they were wrong. We desperately need the scales of justice to remain balanced, but often lock ourselves into a negative state and sacrifice our own happiness and joy. The Dance of Relationships: The Art of Being Together Both Intimately and Independently: This book focuses on personal change and intimacy, which is of course a personal topic. But I hope that each of us can strive to take on a more courageous and effective role in social change. The larger environment in which we live (what we call the "social," "political," "societal," or "cultural" environment) shapes and determines our most intimate interactions and our definition of family. The Dance of Truth: How to Be Your True Self in Intimate Relationships: The number of women in the world exceeds half of the world's population. However, the female group has no de facto economic and political status and lacks social prestige. We are taught to pretend that this status quo is the result of our special roles as wives and mothers of men, and we are taught to tolerate, even to be comfortable with, this status quo. Think about it, if women could fully express their weighty opinions in language, politics, culture, etc., How much the world's concepts of "real" and "important" would change. The pursuit of personal and political correctness is never-ending, but in the process of pursuit, some people or groups will choose to sacrifice others. But this does not prevent us from still looking forward to this world, and we look forward to the dignity and integrity of all women, humans and creatures in this world receiving due respect, and we will continue to work hard for this. Today we can live by the values we want to live up to in the future, in the hope that these values will dominate the world. Respecting the diversity, complexity, inclusion and connection of life is the path to truth for each of us.