Feijuan's Diary

More than ten years ago, in a school, there were two girls named Juanjuan. She became best friends with her, but one of the girls took the first step and she didn't even have time to grow up. Fei Juan is the loser who has always lived a good life. When she was a child, she was called the little fat girl. She always made people happy with her ugly looks in the class. She felt that being nicer would make others accept her. But every time there was always a voice next to her that would come to interfere with her business: "Li Juanjie, why do you do this to yourself?" Fei Juan pushed her away and said, "How do you understand my mood and do you care about me? We are not good friends!" The other party replied to her: "Who said we won't be good friends? Girls make friends with girls regardless of their appearance. As long as we are both girls, that's fine." Feijuan believed it. During their youth when they were most dependent on each other, Fei Juan gradually no longer regarded herself as a good-for-nothing fat girl. She decided to lose weight at the beginning of school this year, and then took a photo with Lin Meijuan as a souvenir. But when they were about to graduate from junior high school, the two of them agreed to go to a food court together to spend this noisy summer together. "Lin Meijuan, what should I do? I ate secretly last night, and I failed to lose weight again!! Hahaha!" "Li Juanjie, it doesn't matter. Let's go to dinner and watch a movie. By the way, even if we go to high school, we can still be as good as before." "Okay! Lin Meijuan and Li Juanjie, we are the best in the world." Fei Juan remembered this promise, but she didn't expect that Lin Meijuan, who was in a hurry to go out and was hit by a car and died, failed to keep it. In the blink of an eye, many years have passed. Fei Juan is still the same Fei Juan. She looks like a clown everywhere. Her boss, colleagues and family don't like her. If she doesn't go to work, she doesn't socialize. She lives in numbness. She can't remember that she is still alive unless she goes out and is exposed to the sun. Eating seems to be her only pleasure. Lin Meijuan's sudden death was an irreversible turning point in her life. She seemed to have no courage to live after the death of her best friend. Until one day, a magic appeared in her and Lin Meijuan's secret diary. Li Juanjie, whose soul was in her thirties, woke up and saw her good friend in the front row who was not dead yet. That summer, when the wind passed by, fourteen-year-old Li Juanjie was still in the same class as Lin Meijuan. The diary fell from the desk, revealing the rebellious and sensitive words in her heart when she was still a girl. -I'm hanging in the air and can't see the vastness of the building My heart has been raining lately, and I can't find my dreams. — It turns out that Li Juanjie's dream is that if Lin Meijuan is alive, that photo... Can be taken. With tears streaming down her face, she heard with her own ears that the gears of her numb life were being twisted in the other direction by the wrench of fate. "Li Juanjie, if you could do it all over again, please save her and yourself who also died in 2003." Demining: Friendship has no cp, the two heroines travel through time and space, there is no prototype reference, the complex youth friendship between a girl with low self-esteem and a girl with white phosphorus. ---------- Teachers, this is Stone Sheep. "Feijuan Diary" is a first-person diary novel. It was originally planned to be completed with 100,000 words and the full text is free. However, the second half was temporarily shelved here because I encountered some problems in my life, but I have no intention of giving up. If you click in, you can take a look and save it first. If my condition improves, I will come back and continue writing. Then I also want to talk about the source of inspiration for me to write this book, my mother, Lao Sheep. Like Juan in the book, Lao Yang and I are also an East Asian mother and daughter, and have experienced our own growing pains and menopause. I had a long thinking session last night. In recent years, my relationship with Lao Yang has become increasingly close. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, so my long rebellious period is over, so I'm also out of the so-called Odyssey period. I started to replay some of the things my mother said and did over and over again. When I first came into contact with literature, I sympathized with the fictional artistic characters in countless books. I felt that they were beautiful, fragile, mothers, and my emotional projection. However, I rarely seriously thought about her plight that Lao Yang said. Because she always said these things as a joke, over and over again, and told everyone as a joke. But she really told others many times that I was her third child, and she had aborted two of her children. After I was born, my mother gained weight. She once tried hard to keep fit. At that time, she signed up for aerobics classes, wrapped her belly button with plastic wrap, and worked hard on hot days, but she gave up in the end. At this age, she no longer had the courage to do many things over again. She began to laugh at herself and tell others the stories of her youth as a joke. But when I looked back and listened to her words, I really felt her life and her unwillingness. They say don't always care about the joys and sorrows in the distance. To listen to nearby sounds. The closest sound to me is that of the old sheep. So I hope I can stop ignoring her feelings. Encourage my mother, just as I encourage my most trusted friends, my former students, all the weaklings I have pitied in this world, to be her listener. Purpose: To all girls