In the past, Xia Yunshu always felt that true love was invincible and that nothing could separate two people in love. If they were separated, it would mean they didn't love each other enough.
It was not until later that she grew up, fell in love, and realized the dangers of society.
In the past, she believed that "love is finding a new self after losing yourself." But when she began to calm down and look up at the stars, she was suddenly pulled back to the ground and saw the struggle in the mud.
That night, what shocked her was not the vast universe, but the immensity. She finally understood: the "new self" is not found, but created. Not on the top of a mountain, not in someone's arms, but in every conscious, lonely, and rebellious choice.
She loves the sea only for its rough waves, and only loves the green grass that grows among the ruins. She loves Mei Changgeng, but she only loves the qualities in Mei Changgeng that she does not have, the other half that she is missing. Her love comes from her fantasy, or herself.
If there is no true self, the so-called "love" and "lost" are just an exquisite illusion.
She felt only relief from the pain that no longer existed. The final spasm was nothing more than vomiting.
Intention: I am me first, and then I am who you see me