Interstellar Social Animal but Heartthrob

The moment Lin Yan stuffed his resignation letter into the alien ATM machine, interstellar alliance house prices plummeted 37%. What the teller machine spit out was not money, but three cruise ships with "Emergency Sale" slogans painted on them. "Congratulations on triggering the hidden easter egg!" The electronic voice announced cheerfully, "As the first Earthling to save enough money for a house in the first-ring star field, you have been automatically promoted to the Minister of Defense of Human Civilization - your salary will be calculated three times during the war, and your death pension can be discounted into black hole property rights!" He stared at the "Additional Clause of Civilized Defense Obligations" that suddenly proliferated in the house purchase contract, crumpled his resignation letter into paper bullets and stuffed them into the barrel: "Start Plan B." The so-called Plan B is to submit resumes to 72 galaxies at the same time—— In the morning, I worked as a mecha beautician in the silicon-based empire (putting privacy films on killing weapons), at noon I went to the Zerg nest as a food appraiser (tasting the corrosive liquid secreted by biological battleships), and at night I squatted in an interstellar pirate ship to clean the toilet (while reselling smuggled dark matter fuel to the earth). HRs across the universe have received the same message: "Accept flexible working arrangements, but reject any form of promotion or salary increase." Until one day, the coffee machine he assembled by himself exploded at a starship dinner, and the concentrated liquid sprayed out corroded half of the parliament hall. "This is murder!" The alien councilor roared, pointing at the smoking dress. "No, this is a work-related injury." Lin Yan clicked on Article 1314 of the "Part-time Risk Notice" in his mind, "You did not buy employee accident insurance, and the compensation will be increased by 500% according to the conflict of civilization standards - it is recommended to pay in installments, with a down payment of three agricultural stars." Trouble begins to multiply exponentially: - The robotic arm he repaired for the war AI suddenly started pole dancing, causing the enemy fleet to collectively crash. - The recipe written casually on the milk tea cup was deciphered into an antimatter equation, blowing up half of the observatory. - The enemy's defense map organized using Excel was judged by Intelligent Brain as "the most beautiful data model in the universe" and initiated the pursuit The most ridiculous thing was that the silicon-based pet that always stole his lunch actually spit out the chewed-up time loop key one day - the mayonnaise residue on it happened to spell out the mothership core password. "You don't understand social animals at all." On the day of the decisive battle, he sat in front of the cashier of a convenience store and used a code scanner to shine at the alien commanders one by one. "What you save in 996 is not money, it's muscle memory -" The sound of scanning codes turned into attack commands, the cans of instant noodles on the shelves turned into nano bombs, and the oden soup base boiled into biochemical poisonous mist. When the mothership disintegrated in the spicy mushroom cloud, Lin Yan was revising the house purchase contract: "New clause: The balcony must be able to see the enemy's surrender fireworks show." Scroll news broadcast across the universe: [The reason for the skyrocketing rating of Earth's civilization: Lin Yan's pension progress bar] The person involved just melted the medal into a keychain with a new goal engraved on it—— "In my next life, I want to buy a house in the Jurassic Galaxy." Demining Guide: 1. The career line is soaring, and the love line is like sesame seeds sprinkled on the burrito. 2. A single arrow in the universe, the protagonist only sees overtime pay and the Earth's KPIs 3. Interstellar physics does not exist, mechanical beasts can masturbate, and silicon-based organisms can touch porcelain. 4. The spiritual core is the literature of beating workers and turning tables 5. The protagonist is slightly charming but can physically castrate the love brain (referring to using a laser cutter) 6. Other highlights may be unlocked with the protagonist's new part-time job Intention: Retire early and enjoy life