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Alias: "I picked up a siren at the beach to be my guardian"
"I hate him."
This was the only sentence Jiang Yan said in the winter when he was eighteen years old.
The person next to me asked: "He has raised you for five years."
Jiang Yan said: "That's why I hate him. He taught me how to live, but he didn't teach me how to live without him."
My parents divorced when I was eight, my father died when I was twelve, and my sister died because of me when I was fourteen.
Everyone said I was ominous, except him.
That winter, he picked me up on the dock. The man with red hair and blue eyes squatted down and asked me if I was hungry, then stretched out his hand to me: "Follow me."
I went back with him.
For the next five years, he taught me how to speak English, taught me how to cook, and left a note every day when I went out. I kept them one by one, filling a drawer.
He died in the winter when I was eighteen. I only heard half a syllable of the last sentence and didn't hear it clearly.
More than a month later, I was sorting through his belongings and turned to the last page of the old book. A line of words was scrawled on it:
"I want to stay. Because of him."
I sat holding the notebook for a long time.
It turned out that this was the last thing he wanted to say.
I stood up, walked out the door, and went to the beach.
"I went to find him."
Content tags: soft spot, sadomasochism, a strange combination of circumstances, growth, drama
#The picked-up siren raised me up and died#
#Emotional disorders don't know that it's love at all#
#When I react, no one will be there#
Concept: A person who doesn't know how to love or be loved will only understand love after losing it.