I met him one afternoon ten years ago. At that time, the plane trees on campus were in full bloom, and the sunlight filtered through the gaps between the leaves and danced on his shoulders. He was wearing a yellow plaid shirt, revealing his well-defined forearms. I sat in the corner of the classroom, but my eyes followed his figure involuntarily. Ten years is just two words to say, but it takes more than 3,600 days and nights to line up. At first I could still calculate, today is the 307th day since I liked him, and tomorrow will be the 308th day. Later, the numbers gradually blurred, like ink stains wetted by rain, leaving only a habitual gaze. His hair is always cut very fluffy, like a tree in spring, and like him, he refuses to bow his head easily. I observed that when he was thinking, he would unconsciously tap his index finger on the table, always in a leisurely four-beat rhythm. His handwriting is long and thin and tilts upward to the right, as if trying to break free from the constraints of the paper. I collected these details for 6 years but never had the chance to tell him. In the year of graduation, I filled my memory book with blessings for everyone, but on his page, the pen hung for a long time, and only the words "a bright future" were written down. The ink was so thick that it smeared on the back of the paper. Later we went our separate ways. I often look for a figure similar to his in the crowd - that angle of the profile, that kind of walking posture. Occasionally, when I see his updates on social media, my finger hovers over the like button, but in the end I always swipe it away silently. In the past ten years, I have had several romantic relationships, both salty and mild, but they all ended in vain. If you keep one person in your heart, everyone else will become a general. This may sound pretentious, but it is the truth. The raindrops on the car window snaked down like transparent scars. I finally understood that the person I loved in these ten years might not be him, but the myself who would beat my heart faster for someone. Youth is like a heavy rain. Even if you catch a cold, you still look forward to going back and being showered again. Secret love is one person's business and has nothing to do with others. It took me ten years to finally learn to put the word "like" quietly back into the drawer in my heart.
Purpose: commemoration