——"Everyone I met later had your shadow"
In Lin Lujin's youth, Zheng Junhao was the person who made her laugh and cry, but in the end she could only miss him.
He is always like this——
In the self-study class, he deliberately pulled her homework and refused to return it. Seeing her anxious look, she smiled like a child who had succeeded in a prank;
Stealing the ball from her on the football field, then pretending to take it back after she was out of breath;
At the birthday party, he smeared cream on her face, brushed his fingertips against her hot cheeks, but ignored the cheers around him.
And she is always like this——
Secretly counting the tiny hairs on the back of his neck while he is sleeping on the table;
When he was joking with his new deskmate, he clicked the mechanical pencil;
After every casual physical contact, hide the sound of your heartbeat in your diary late at night.
The most ambiguous moment was when she rushed over to grab the pen he held up, and fell into his arms. The citrus aroma mixed with the violent heartbeat, and she saw a flash of panic in his eyes, but returned to a familiar smile in the next second.
The most painful memory is that time we held an umbrella together and went home on a rainy day. She pretended to trip over a puddle and threw herself into his arms, her cheek resting on the chest of his school uniform that was soaked by the rain. She heard his rapid heartbeat and was secretly happy when he suddenly held her shoulders and pushed her away - "Be careful", he smiled and flicked her forehead, then tilted the umbrella completely toward her. The cold rain dripped down the tips of his hair, and his eyes were clear, as if he was treating a sister who needed care. Amidst the cheers from her companions, she lowered her head to hide the tears that were about to burst. It turned out that the most uncomfortable thing was not being laughed at, but the magnanimity in his eyes, which proved that she was the only one whose heart was moved.
Later, due to household registration issues, she had to transfer schools and leave. On the day I packed my schoolbag, he handed me a note: "Keep in touch." But in the end, their chat history stopped at the phrase "Happy New Year" forever.
Many years later, at a class reunion, someone mentioned that he was about to get married. She smiled and raised her glass, but opened the yellowed diary in a deserted place——
"If I had been braver..."
The handwriting was blurred by water stains, and it was hard to tell whether it was tears from then or now.
——
"Some people have used up all their luck just by meeting them."
Concept: Youth is like a heavy rain, and I will always trap myself under that tilted umbrella