Eighteen years old
i want to write a book
Give it to yourself
i give her
The courage to get out of the predicament and face the mournful loneliness
You are optimistic and cheerful but sensitive and fragile at the same time. You hate the pain this imbalance brings to you, but I want to say:
You can't pretend it doesn't matter, it's easy, running away won't solve the problem, you have to face it head on. I believe in you, there is a strong heart under the soft skin, you can defeat it.
You have been unwilling to be separated from anything since you were a child, even an inanimate stuffed toy or a stupid-looking little rabbit.
You saw that little bear in the window. You thought it was so cute and could talk magically, so you bought it home. You kept talking to it and telling it interesting things from the past, even though the only response was a cold mechanical voice: "Hello little master, I am a teddy bear." But you never minded, you thought all you wanted was a listener.
Until it is thrown away, you blame yourself for being powerless, complaining about why you are so playful, why don't you go home earlier? Later, you also bought a lot of stuffed toys, but you never bought a bear again.
You say he is just a lifeless stuffed toy, but in your heart you regard him as a friend.
You raised a cute little rabbit. It was dirty when you picked it up. She looked at you, but you didn't understand her eyes. You took it home and took care of her with all your heart. It can talk, but you can't understand it but you are very happy. It accompanies you in those boring days.
Until you saw it on the table, you didn't eat it because it looked spicy. Also glad it was spicy, otherwise what would you do.
Later, you always think sadly that the little gray rabbit may be more willing to face the fear of the unknown than to live a stable life, at least there is hope of survival.
But if you don't take her home, she will be incapacitated and will be like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. The straw shed you built is not locked. She is voluntary.
It doesn't matter, you are young and don't know that animals have their own rules of survival. You can blame yourself, but please, let yourself go.
"I can't accept it." There are always so many things you can't accept, but every time, you accept them all.
No matter what kind of feelings it is, you can't understand other people's euphemisms because you like to deceive yourself. For you, hearing it with your own ears counts.
Although you say that everyone is with you on a phased basis, you know that you don't want phased relationships.
Although you like to retain someone, you can only do three things.
Freedom, equality, and voluntariness are what you have been looking forward to, so you can understand.
No one is wrong about the end of a relationship.
Either say nothing or overshare. This is not extreme. You just have a stronger sense of boundaries, and that's okay.
You're not a crybaby, that's called tear incontinence, and you never think there's anything wrong with crying. Everyone has a different way of venting their emotions, so just follow yours.
It doesn't matter, I know you, you are much stronger than you think.
"The one who can get out of the rainy season is never an umbrella, but myself who is not afraid of wind and rain. "I am my own support.
"May all your wishes come true."
May your wishes come true.
Intention: Give yourself the courage to get out of the predicament and face the wailing loneliness
