I now understand why probation is sometimes more painful than the death penalty.
"There is a bomb in my brain. I don't know when it will explode. The doctor made an appointment for me to have an operation for seventy days. No one knows what the operation will do. If it succeeds, you can still live as a normal person. If you fail, you will not die, but you will only have a bed as your companion for the rest of your life. You are a useless person."
"So, I decided to die before the seventieth day."
Intention: I want to stand under the light.