When did I first realize that I was avoidant? It's pretending that nothing happened every time when your expectations are not met, it's using all your strength to put yourself down when faced with compliments from friends, it's being awkward and uncomfortable when faced with the love of the person you like...
Well, this is how Zheng Muheng and I separated, right?
[I just remember that the last time we met, the two of us sat at the bus stop all night, and the elder brother on the lawn next to us sang passionately on the mic, and we both laughed:
"I never dare to sing in the shower. I feel so ashamed..." I didn't dare to look into his eyes as I spoke. In fact, I really wanted to look into his eyes. He was sitting with two fists beside me. He must have taken a shower. This guy is quite detail-oriented. He still found time to do this after playing ball. He smelled of a faint sandalwood scent.
"Yeah, me too. My roommate often sings, but I don't dare." He always said little. After a pause, he added:
"I used to feel ashamed to write essays in high school." His elbows were resting on his knees. Although he was wearing a half-sleeve shirt, his exposed forearm was very thick, and the veins were wrapped around it without much exertion. I actually really want to touch him. Oh my god... He is really tall even when he is sitting down. He is so big at 185cm tall but has a green bubble with a kawaii avatar. I often complain about him. It's just that he doesn't talk much offline...
Intention: How do you realize that you have an avoidant personality emotionally? From consciousness to practice, see how the protagonist overcomes inner demons step by step.