Li Yan Obras 2024 Acerca de Gaofí Sobre mí
dedicated to
Li Gaofei
Shi Tiesheng said: "At the end of my twenties, my legs completely betrayed me. I survived only because of friendship."
The same is true for me at the age of twenty-one.
I was overwhelmed by the crowds in Beijing's morning rush hour. The narrow subway car was crowded with people. I was squeezed and had difficulty breathing. All I could see were strange faces with empty eyes. In their eyes, I saw myself, alive but already dead, just like a walking corpse.
Last weekend, while eating hotpot on Suzhou Street with my good friends Meng Sixun and Yang Yingkai from Peking University, I learned that Yang Yingkai had just been discharged from the hospital. The reason for hospitalization was shock caused by taking a large amount of antidepressant drugs at one time, and he spent a whole day in the emergency room. The moment I heard the news, I trembled. Apart from feeling distressed, I had infinite admiration for him, because I had always longed to die, but never mustered up the courage to die. Yes, only those with courage can die calmly. "Death is a heavy and clean fruit. If we eat it, it will cure too many diseases of living." I know that my illness is getting worse. Death is the only medicine in front of me now, but I still don't have the courage to take it.
Fortunately, I met Li Gaofei. She is my belief, my teacher, my confidant, and my best friend. To be honest, I am able to survive until now only because of Li Gaofei. She is the painkiller that relieves my pain.
I desperately want to write down the past, about me and about Li Gaofei.
Intention: grow up together
