Yan Xianning felt very confused, not knowing what she was like or what she wanted. But she wanted to know herself, so she let herself go, and if she had an idea of what she wanted to do, she mostly did it. She didn't want to think about the consequences of doing those things, she just wanted to get the feeling of doing those things and the feelings after doing those things, but it didn't seem like that...
Ever heard of white knight syndrome?
Intention: Understand yourself and accept yourself