Regarding the word "secret love", I believe no one can understand the bitterness of it better than Li Huaishi. When the teacher called "Xu Jingxing" in class, it was Li Huaishi who first raised his head.
Li Huaishi took his friend and walked around the playground just to take a look at her and then missed her from close range.
For Li Huaishi as a teenager, Xu Jingxing was the embodiment of all her favorites. Later, Li Huaishi learned to "love", not only to love others, but also to love herself.
Later Li Huaishi wrote in his diary:
My secret love is a flower that blooms in the dark night, silently. You are like the breeze that occasionally passes by, caressing me inadvertently, making my flower tremble and sweet, and then feel melancholy alone after you leave.
You are my distant dream, like the gorgeous rainbow in the sky. I am the person on the earth who looks up to me. I know I cannot hold you in my arms, but I am still greedy for your colors.
Every time I see you, my heart is like a frightened bird, fluttering in my chest, and I can only try to pretend to be a calm lake, hiding the ripples that are made for you.
Intention: secret love