Open ending of short story
The medicine prescribed by the doctor made me forget all the pain in the world, but it erased my lover forever.
If you give up treatment, you will lose your qualifications as a human being. If you take active treatment, you will lose the only person I have been with for six years.
A geographer who suffered from mental illness as a boy (Xia Yu) and the hallucinations caused by the disease (hope Yu) oe
21-year-old Xia Yu is a young geographer. His mother died of mental illness inherited in the family when he was 15 years old. He walked on bravely. That day he broke into Siberia alone to do geographical research. This was also the place he longed for.
But in the end he was diagnosed with hereditary schizophrenia, and he became further and further away from the freedom he longed for.
Later, he met and fell in love with his own hallucination or personality...
From the moment you fall in love with each other, this is a silent and sweet tragedy...
The patient's split personality has its own thoughts and independent soul. Falling in love is strange... But normal...
Another personality will say I love you, you must be mine, and I will control you to love me until you die of illness.
But... Your body is getting thinner day by day, and you are always tied with gauze soaked in blood. You haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time. If you only take a few steps, your heart will feel very uncomfortable...
You seem to be dying... Is it because of me?
Watching you increase the dose of sedatives and swallow them one after another... Before you can fall asleep lightly for a few hours. It's obvious that you've been in pain for a long time, but your face is still smiling...
So one quiet night, his "lover" confessed a lot
You taught me to love myself, to eat well, to take medicine well, not to lose weight... I can't hurt myself anymore, sleep well, but I buy the food every day... I eat the medicine well... I threw the blade away by myself, where are you?
Due to the stable control of the drug, the patient's condition improved with his efforts.
Because the disease is under control so well, and because I love you, you will never see me again...
But your face is so fleshy and pretty... How pretty...
I haven't seen you for a long time... Where are you? I am clearly loving myself! You should come and see it!
That day I had a big fight and jumped off the 10th floor.
Not dead...
You seemed to be hugging me at that moment, and I didn't die in the end... The disease got better and better... The you in the fantasy seemed to have disappeared.
I stepped into the cold Siberia again and played the farewell song my mother taught me in the snow.
This time I became a hot heart, slowly melting the snowflakes falling in Siberia. The red snowflakes... Are the longings formed by the blood pumped by the heart.
Only Snow knows where freedom has gone, but dear you once said that your departure is the arrival of freedom, [because dear you are an angel separated from the disease. You yearn for freedom but I trapped you. When I leave, freedom will come]
Intention: You live in my pain, there is no solution and the only one.
