Tian Xuan was a man of literary talent and noble nature.
He and I have known each other since childhood, we are childhood sweethearts, and we have a deep relationship. When my father saw that we were in love with each other, he issued a decree to marry him and me to become husband and wife, creating a beautiful story.
My wedding with him can be said to be a major event in Beijing. The city is covered with red makeup, beautiful scenery, gongs and drums, and firecrackers. At that time, I was wearing a phoenix crown and harem, sitting in an eight-carriage sedan. My heart was full of joy and expectation. I secretly thought that my husband, who was riding a tall horse, would be equally happy when he married me.
May the harp and harp sing in harmony, and raise the case to the same level as one's eyebrows.
After marriage, I became even more caring and considerate towards him. But I always had some doubts and uneasiness in my heart. He was respectful and accommodating, and he was more like a courtier than a husband-in-law to me. I tried every possible means, but he refused to say anything clearly. I thought it was me who had restrained him from being as reckless as before, and I even felt a little guilty.
Until one day, I caught a glimpse of him embracing the palace maid. That day, the moonlight shone in the courtyard, and a pair of figures hugged each other quietly. My consort, dressed in a luxurious brocade robe, abandoned all honor and restraint at this moment and hugged her tightly. He gently stroked her hair with a feeling of affection I had never felt before. The flowers bloom at night, but they have no chance with me.
She is beautiful, gentle and pleasant, especially good at flower art. Later I learned that when Tian Yi was young, he often bought flowers from Xiren's stall. Due to the disparity in status, she entered the princess's house as a slave, and he secretly accompanied her as the consort.
My heart is like a knife, and I am in pain. Was it because I was trying to beat the couple?
I began to become taciturn and in a daze; I no longer cared about the whereabouts and actions of the Prince Consort, nor did I care about anything in the palace. I stayed behind closed doors and became thinner day by day. I often dream about my childhood memories in my dreams, but when I wake up, I feel completely lost. The maids around me began to be afraid of me. After the prince-in-law learned about my illness, although he felt guilty, he was more indifferent and evasive. Perhaps because he did not dare to face his own heart, he chose to go far away to control floods, but died on duty due to the plague.
When I learned of his death, I pierced my throat with my own hairpin, and the blood stained my clothes and bed red. I just hope that in the next life, I will no longer suffer from love...
Intention: I wish to never suffer separation again.