At this moment, I began to doubt myself and whether my feelings for Chen Lin were a kind of dependence or a disease. I looked into his eyes and saw that I was a younger brother, a relative, and someone who needed to be taken care of...
He opened his mouth and told me what happened to him today, but I still couldn't understand it, as if I was thousands of miles away from him.
It was he who took me home and gave me everything.
But in my heart I am greedy and shameless,
Treating all this as what he should be,
No,
He can abandon me at will
From the beginning to the end, Chen Lin had no feelings for me other than as a brother. I also knew better than anyone else that I was his younger brother and was raised by him. I should repay him instead of bringing pain to him.
I lied to myself and told myself that I couldn't see clearly about Chen Lin or his heart, so that I could keep this heavy feeling in my heart lightly and give myself a chance to breathe. But in the end, this was just a ridiculous way of lying to myself, because I knew that he would not like me, and my feelings for him would never get his permission.
I deceive myself and others, and there is no cure...
Intention: peace and tranquility