You can't figure out your own behavior, you can't even understand yourself, you make a choice but it seems like you have no choice, it's because you are not yourself yet, you are the shadow of your family of origin. All the influences will become subconscious and become the voices in your head, making you make one wrong step after another, until you can no longer breathe.
Concept: Leaving in a daze means not seeing the true nature of one's original family.