After watching the big movie, I couldn't help but write an article for Zebei and Shenjin. I really like these two people.
In fact, I watched Slam Dunk when I was very young, and I can't remember many details, so I may have more private settings.
My favorites are Mitsui and Sendō, but there are really too many articles written about them, and because they appear a lot in the plot, I need to think about it carefully. I will write about them later. They are already in the archive.
I also like Mountain King, so I read this one first.
The author is a science student with poor writing skills. It is his first time writing a novel and he has little experience. He is purely self-satisfied and not a party critic.
Cp: Zebei or Shenjin, let's see how it feels at the end of the writing, they both love them!
Conception:
Reader comments
What, what, my lovely Ah Shen actually appeared = =+ I am an old acquaintance of the heroine
It looks good, the writing is very good, and I also like the setting.
2024.12.3 Finished spreading flowers ~ very beautiful! Vertical and penetrating writing style ~ [Come on]
Hahahaha let's make dreams come true together
It's been almost 10 days since I updated. Please give me an update [please]
! ! Are you going to confess? !
This article has major flaws and shortcomings.
The main storyline is that Shangguan Hu's academic performance is low. Shangguan Hong accidentally saw Yue Yuanting's advertisement during a meal in order to let his younger brother enter high school. After seeing him, he fell in love at first sight, and then half pursued and half threatened to fall in love with him. Due to Wan Xingming's various obstructions, the two had a series of "misunderstandings." Yue Yuanting and Shangguanhong became police undercovers one after another, completely destroying the criminals led by Wan Xingming. Shangguanhong voluntarily surrendered and performed well as an undercover agent, and his sentence was reduced to ten years. Because he loved Yue Yuanting too much and Yue Yuanting never agreed to their breakup, the breakup failed and they reconciled.
This is an article with nothing new. During the unfolding of the plot, the plot is not sufficiently laid out. The end of the article is very hasty, and many plots are not explained clearly. The emotional line between Shangguan Hong and Yue Yuan Ting was not smooth enough in some places, especially in the later stage, when Yue Yuan Ting repeatedly talked about breaking up. A few days later, the two got together again. They said it was to act for Wan Xingming to see, but it was actually very far-fetched. The two people at the back were undercover Xingming Group and the other was undercover Hongflash. The two had almost no communication. This plot was originally intended to be high-gloss, but in fact it was very stretched. Many things were not explained clearly, and it was in a state of half-light and half-darkness. Even guessing may not be possible. The plot was very incoherent, like a zipper that lacked teeth, and it was very reluctant to close, which was very uncomfortable for the senses. The rhythm conflict is not obvious. If we use a curve chart to express it, the climax is not eye-catching enough and has not reached the peak point. The rise and fall is an upward trend and the rise is very inconspicuous, so it is difficult to reach the peak point of the climax.
The character settings are fragmented, especially Shangguan Hong. His father died of alcoholism and his mother was teased to death. His childhood environment was filled with a series of negative factors such as violence, depression, resentment and anger. Both of his parents died when he was a teenager. Although he was rescued by Wan Xingming, it was not a positive rescue. He entered the black boxing ring and was still surrounded by negative influences when he was growing up. Ninety percent of people who grow up in this kind of environment are bad-tempered, swearing, and arrogant. Shangguan Hong's character does have this kind of behavior in the early stage. He said he wants to change, but he doesn't change it all at once. He can speak with his fists and never use his brain. This is his consistent behavior. It is said that the country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change. After the epidemic, Shangguan Hong's personality was extremely separated from the previous period. It seemed that this body contained the soul of another person, and there was no obvious transitional change. With Shangguan Hu and Huang Yu, he can maintain his inner purity in the darkness. He is a very responsible and responsible man. If he is a frightened horse that runs rampant without caring about the life and death of others, Shangguan Hu and Huang Yu are the masters holding the reins, but their performance is not sufficient. The three of them should form a knotted network on their own. In fact, the three of them are not enough to support the emotional bond of dying for each other.
As another protagonist, Yue Yuanting was in a state of resistance to Shangguan Hong who spoke with his fists in the early stage, but gradually became a bit of a wife in the later stage. In fact, being a wife should be the deepest layer of Yue Yuanting's personality. It is shown in front of the person he loves most. In the early stage, his inner wife attributes can be vaguely revealed in some aspects. There is a lack of hints and the transformation of the character's personality is a bit blunt.
The emotional pull between the two was a bit bland. In the early stage, Shangguan Hong was supposed to be passionate and expected to get a quick emotional response from Yue Yuanting, but the method was wrong and all he got was a cold face and disgust. This part is the most emotionally explosive. The actual description is not like boiling water, but a bit like a bland cool boil. Furthermore, the relationship between the two is not natural enough. It should be like a slowly blooming spring flower, opening all its petals and fragrance little by little, releasing all its love and tenderness. However, what is actually described is like a rose made of paper. There is no blooming process, no elegant floral fragrance, no soft texture, only red, tangible but not spiritual.
As a supporting role, the description is not profound enough, the character is not three-dimensional enough, the character is single and flat, has no own characteristics, and the ending is vague or passed over.
The words used in the writing process are not rich enough. It should be based on the character's character, drive the character's behavior and language, and use the character's behavior and language to express the character's character. In the process of character creation, you can add some unique little habits to the character to enrich the character's personality. The process of shaping characters and unfolding the plot in the writing seems to be in shackles. The characters are limited to boxes, without breaking the box to release their true temperament. There is no effective connection between the characters, and the description of this connection is fragile. It does not form an intertwined and intricate connection network, let alone a hybrid state where you are in me and you are in me. It seems that any one of them is missing.
There is too little description of the environment. The environment not only points out the time and place, but is also an aspect that promotes the plot. It can also hint at the mood of the characters. In fact, the description of the environment is passed over without sufficient description, as if it is just the environment and has nothing to do with the plot or characters. Even deleting the environment does not matter.
Certain objects of special significance that appear in the article could not better enrich and strengthen its meaning of existence. The most typical one is the flower chain made by Shangguan Hong that symbolizes exclusivity. It does not appear again in the article. Although the two do not describe too many intimate things, it can be mentioned in one sentence. The exclusivity and shame that this object initially represented later transformed into love and exclusiveness for each other. The origin of Shangguan Hong's accessories and earrings is not clearly explained, and they are not repeated in the following articles. The same goes for Huang Yu's shoes. What it means to Xiong Xiang is not clearly stated, and it seems to be a somewhat meaningless move.
There are more or less problems with the plot, characters, environment, and rhythm, which should be paid attention to in the future.
Looking forward to the next one! ! ! [Come on] [Come on] [Come on]
Urge more, Urge more, Urge more, Urge more, Urge more
What, what, my lovely Ah Shen actually appeared = =+ I am an old acquaintance of the heroine
It looks good, the writing is very good, and I also like the setting.
2024.12.3 Finished spreading flowers ~ very beautiful! Vertical and penetrating writing style ~ [Come on]
Hahahaha let's make dreams come true together
It's been almost 10 days since I updated. Please give me an update [please]
! ! Are you going to confess? !
This article has major flaws and shortcomings. The main storyline is that Shangguan Hu's academic performance is low. Shangguan Hong accidentally saw Yue Yuanting's advertisement during a meal in order to let his younger brother enter high school. After seeing him, he fell in love at first sight, and then half pursued and half threatened to fall in love with him. Due to Wan Xingming's various obstructions, the two had a series of "misunderstandings." Yue Yuanting and Shangguanhong became police undercovers one after another, completely destroying the criminals led by Wan Xingming. Shangguanhong voluntarily surrendered and performed well as an undercover agent, and his sentence was reduced to ten years. Because he loved Yue Yuanting too much and Yue Yuanting never agreed to their breakup, the breakup failed and they reconciled. This is an article with nothing new. During the unfolding of the plot, the plot is not sufficiently laid out. The end of the article is very hasty, and many plots are not explained clearly. The emotional line between Shangguan Hong and Yue Yuan Ting was not smooth enough in some places, especially in the later stage, when Yue Yuan Ting repeatedly talked about breaking up. A few days later, the two got together again. They said it was to act for Wan Xingming to see, but it was actually very far-fetched. The two people at the back were undercover Xingming Group and the other was undercover Hongflash. The two had almost no communication. This plot was originally intended to be high-gloss, but in fact it was very stretched. Many things were not explained clearly, and it was in a state of half-light and half-darkness. Even guessing may not be possible. The plot was very incoherent, like a zipper that lacked teeth, and it was very reluctant to close, which was very uncomfortable for the senses. The rhythm conflict is not obvious. If we use a curve chart to express it, the climax is not eye-catching enough and has not reached the peak point. The rise and fall is an upward trend and the rise is very inconspicuous, so it is difficult to reach the peak point of the climax. The character settings are fragmented, especially Shangguan Hong. His father died of alcoholism and his mother was teased to death. His childhood environment was filled with a series of negative factors such as violence, depression, resentment and anger. Both of his parents died when he was a teenager. Although he was rescued by Wan Xingming, it was not a positive rescue. He entered the black boxing ring and was still surrounded by negative influences when he was growing up. Ninety percent of people who grow up in this kind of environment are bad-tempered, swearing, and arrogant. Shangguan Hong's character does have this kind of behavior in the early stage. He said he wants to change, but he doesn't change it all at once. He can speak with his fists and never use his brain. This is his consistent behavior. It is said that the country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change. After the epidemic, Shangguan Hong's personality was extremely separated from the previous period. It seemed that this body contained the soul of another person, and there was no obvious transitional change. With Shangguan Hu and Huang Yu, he can maintain his inner purity in the darkness. He is a very responsible and responsible man. If he is a frightened horse that runs rampant without caring about the life and death of others, Shangguan Hu and Huang Yu are the masters holding the reins, but their performance is not sufficient. The three of them should form a knotted network on their own. In fact, the three of them are not enough to support the emotional bond of dying for each other. As another protagonist, Yue Yuanting was in a state of resistance to Shangguan Hong who spoke with his fists in the early stage, but gradually became a bit of a wife in the later stage. In fact, being a wife should be the deepest layer of Yue Yuanting's personality. It is shown in front of the person he loves most. In the early stage, his inner wife attributes can be vaguely revealed in some aspects. There is a lack of hints and the transformation of the character's personality is a bit blunt. The emotional pull between the two was a bit bland. In the early stage, Shangguan Hong was supposed to be passionate and expected to get a quick emotional response from Yue Yuanting, but the method was wrong and all he got was a cold face and disgust. This part is the most emotionally explosive. The actual description is not like boiling water, but a bit like a bland cool boil. Furthermore, the relationship between the two is not natural enough. It should be like a slowly blooming spring flower, opening all its petals and fragrance little by little, releasing all its love and tenderness. However, what is actually described is like a rose made of paper. There is no blooming process, no elegant floral fragrance, no soft texture, only red, tangible but not spiritual. As a supporting role, the description is not profound enough, the character is not three-dimensional enough, the character is single and flat, has no own characteristics, and the ending is vague or passed over. The words used in the writing process are not rich enough. It should be based on the character's character, drive the character's behavior and language, and use the character's behavior and language to express the character's character. In the process of character creation, you can add some unique little habits to the character to enrich the character's personality. The process of shaping characters and unfolding the plot in the writing seems to be in shackles. The characters are limited to boxes, without breaking the box to release their true temperament. There is no effective connection between the characters, and the description of this connection is fragile. It does not form an intertwined and intricate connection network, let alone a hybrid state where you are in me and you are in me. It seems that any one of them is missing. There is too little description of the environment. The environment not only points out the time and place, but is also an aspect that promotes the plot. It can also hint at the mood of the characters. In fact, the description of the environment is passed over without sufficient description, as if it is just the environment and has nothing to do with the plot or characters. Even deleting the environment does not matter. Certain objects of special significance that appear in the article could not better enrich and strengthen its meaning of existence. The most typical one is the flower chain made by Shangguan Hong that symbolizes exclusivity. It does not appear again in the article. Although the two do not describe too many intimate things, it can be mentioned in one sentence. The exclusivity and shame that this object initially represented later transformed into love and exclusiveness for each other. The origin of Shangguan Hong's accessories and earrings is not clearly explained, and they are not repeated in the following articles. The same goes for Huang Yu's shoes. What it means to Xiong Xiang is not clearly stated, and it seems to be a somewhat meaningless move. There are more or less problems with the plot, characters, environment, and rhythm, which should be paid attention to in the future.
Looking forward to the next one! ! ! [Come on] [Come on] [Come on]
Urge more, Urge more, Urge more, Urge more, Urge more