I have seen many writers say that the reason why a work is special is that it is written by a special person. I have never doubted that a person who writes is always writing about herself, the life she touches, and the imagination that unfolds from it.
I have also heard that a person must love himself first before he can discern what true love is. Only in this small space did I have the courage to admit that I was the one who couldn't love myself and couldn't tell what true love was. In my more than 20 years of life, my concept of love has been quite vague, especially love. I vaguely felt that this should be related to my family, but at the same time my rationality wavered me - maybe this matter is controllable? People can change, and so can you.
I want to be a person who loves myself. When everyone gives up on me, I can still love myself. But I know that if I cannot personally hand over a paper on the huge topic of love, I will not be able to complete the lifelong event of "loving myself" (yes, this should be a major event in life).
I think writing is an outlet for me. I don't know why I only thought of writing. I didn't even think of falling in love to put myself in others' shoes and gain experience. But I decided not to dwell on it. I wanted to listen to the moment of inspiration that my 24 years of life had given me. In this space of inspiration, I wanted to be unreservedly loyal to myself. I didn't lie or be hypocritical. Even if my rationality felt ugly, I wanted to see my true self clearly.
Seeing your own desires clearly and being honest with them is the first step to loving yourself, I believe.
Intention: Being afraid but persisting in doing it is the real bravery