Her fragrance lingers in my mind, her voice lingers in my mind, and her bracelets ring with crisp sounds. Every move, every smile, makes the string in my heart tighten and loosen at times, as if it is about to break, but it stops in place because of her neglect and absence at some point.
I feel embarrassed everywhere she is. Even if I smell the same perfume when I am out on vacation, I will stop for a few seconds, look back, and greedily inhale the smell that does not stay in the air for long. Every time I see a tall person with curly hair, my heart will tighten, for fear of meeting her.
Although I will never forget her
Although every time I passed a white jeep, I would carefully check the license plate, my eyes cautious and careful, holding on to a sense of hope and luck. When I saw it was her, my heart jumped into my throat. When I saw it was not her, I felt relief and a sense of loss.
But my feelings for her are very contradictory. I want to possess her selfishly, but I also want to become a transparent person and have nothing to do with her. The complicated feelings make me feel like I have a secret love.
But it's impossible
The disparity in status, the age gap, the same gender, the difference in race. She is a mother. I have not graduated from high school. It will never be possible. And her completely different feelings towards me. She will not be mine. Never.
Due to my situation and the influence I brought, the number of times she and I met increased all the time, and my feelings for her became more and more complicated. I avoided her, avoided her, stupidly thinking that I could erase the traces of her existence in my heart, even if it was just to weaken it a little...
Failable
Her job is to bring us closer. I have to deal with awkward conversations, looking at each other, every second...
I really don't want to fall in love with her, so how to solve it? Never knew her? No.. I can't bear it... I regret that I feel this way...
She is a beam of light that illuminates my dilapidated self in the darkness.
I owe her so much.
Purpose: Let all feelings be responded to