"On Why I Wanted to Write This Book"
It's only been three years in high school, it's only been three years since I've known him, and it's only been three years since I've liked him. I have always believed that all the choices we make have causes and effects. I was admitted to a high school that was not the most ideal, but I got to know him. I don't like science, but I can always be by his side. My grades declined, but I chose to take the art exam and eventually got admitted to the university I liked. I slowly chased him and the sun in my heart.
I am very ordinary and not lovable. I have a bluffing and carefree personality. I am outspoken and can offend people easily. During my three years in high school, I was bullied, ostracized, and subjected to cold violence, but I didn't care. All I care about is his noncommittal, but I understand.
I am not a reserved person, and this is not the first time I confess my feelings. I have done some wrong things, I have been sorry to some people, I have also lost myself, lied, tried hard, and felt at a loss. Not everyone's youth is vigorous, and not every secret love can see the light of day running in both directions. Youth leaves a lot of regrets.
Many classmates said that I resemble a sunflower, always facing the sun, but no one remembers that behind the sunflower is a shadow that the sun cannot shine. That is my inferiority complex and sensitivity.
There are two rules of heart for sunflowers. One is to never expect to own the sun; the other is to pursue it bravely and openly without asking for anything in return.
The names of Gu Jianian and Lin Jinyu were given by me, which means "there are new opportunities every year", which is a best wish for them and myself.
During the time when I was separated from him, I would always remember him, get emotional, and have random thoughts.
Youth is just this once, I have no regrets. Even if I know the result and I go back to the first year of high school, I will still like him. Because, I think, "like" doesn't originate from unknown sources, and it goes deep and deep. So I wrote this book to remember my youth which was not so vigorous.
I like him for a long time.
Intention: You illuminate me for a moment, and I love you for three years