When did Brother Doza and I meet? It has been thirty years. He has been with me for most of my life. He is the person I trust the most and loves me the most. He treats me like the ocean and tolerates everything about me. He only hopes that I can be happy and free.
After he died, I often thought that if I had cared more about him, he might not have left me so early. When I found out he was sick, he was so sick that no amount of magic medicine could save him. After he passed away, I blamed myself very much and often wondered why he would spend his life like this if it wasn't for me. He was originally an imperial guard, he was a man who had made military exploits, and he was the eldest son of the family. If he hadn't met me, he would definitely have a good wife from the right family and live out his life full of children and grandchildren. I owe him a heavy debt to Leile and I can't repay him in this life. I can only repay him in the next life. Sometimes I wonder if I would have spent this life together with him like my parents if it hadn't been for that person's appearance. But there are no ifs in life, let alone starting over. Even if you start all over again, which step will you take again without regrets? Should I draw a clear line with him and leave him directly after I meet him again after leaving the palace, or should I not ask him to take me out of the palace, or should I tell him my wish cruelly since we went to make wishes under the wishing tree, or should I directly reject his concern from the first time he helped me ask for antipyretic medicine from the imperial doctor. In fact, many things cannot be controlled by either of us. Even if I cruelly pushed that person away time and time again, fate still tied us together time and time again until we reached where we are now.
Intention: Plainness is the truth, pursue freedom and return to plain life