1
A world of chaotic fusion, a planet watched by outer gods;
Darkness creeps in chaos, disasters are brewing in people's hearts;
The future of mankind and the survival of the world are like candles in the wind.
The power to anchor events is given to Qi Huang, the Sesshoin who is destined to become the devil.
2
"You are the sun that never sets, the eternal moon, and the supreme star."
"You exist forever in the past and future, moment and eternity, both ten thousand and one."
"Truth is but one of the great deceptions of the universe, and death is its most exquisite lie."
"All living beings will sleep forever, only love and desire will last forever."
PS: This article comes from "On the Wrong Ways of Strategy" written by my friend "Sichuan Guguzi". If you haven't read the previous article, it will not affect your reading, but I recommend everyone to read it.
By the way, this article is very imaginative. The author lets himself go and doesn't like to get into it by mistake.
Purpose: love and hope
Reader comments
写的真好呀，为詹姆的真挚，莉莉的真诚和詹莉之间的感情流泪
It's time for 8027 [Rainbow Fart]
I review it carefully, so I added it to Chapter 11. There may be some points that will make you feel bad after reading it, but I still hope that the author can write better and better.
Because I couldn't pass the JJ overseas certification, so only the author can see it.
In fact, at the beginning, the protagonist gave me the impression that he was taking things easy and taking things as they came.
Then I hope the author can break it down into paragraphs and have a more obvious description of the heroine when writing the story in Chinese.
For example, about the Chinese text of the first chapter → [An is a very polite person...]
Here, because the heroine does not have a name in the opening scene, she will be confused at first. After all, readers who click in to read may not immediately remember the name in the protagonist column.
There might be some misunderstanding, who is An talking about the heroine?
Seriously speaking, most people's reading ability nowadays has been greatly reduced by short videos. The protagonist in the opening scene is not clear enough for readers, so it may not be able to retain readers.
Then I want to say the most unreasonable part of this article, asking the waiter at a roadside dessert shop for pen and paper! ! ! Is this a high-end hotel? ? I have never had the opportunity to get these things in a simple afternoon tea dessert shop,
I have gotten them from restaurants, and the service staff are happy to provide these supplies.
I think the priority that needs to be improved should be the segmentation problem. If you want to switch to the third-person perspective, it is recommended to use scene transition to zoom in.
Like the one from the president's perspective
I may say something very outrageous, but I feel I must let you know, because this is what I feel when I see it
→[——————The following is the president's perspective——————] This paragraph is unnecessary
Directly pick up Yukichi Fukuzawa (President) and brought Ranpo to the cafe for dessert today. Why did he come? Although it is natural that Ranpo wants to eat dessert.
But at this time, if the author gives Ranpo and the president a meaning for their trip, such as the end of a case entrusted by the police, or to reward Ranpo so he comes to buy the dessert he said he wanted to eat,
I think it will give readers a deeper impression of the author's president and Ranpo.
And from Ranpo's address to the president, we readers can infer that the detective agency has been established, but if the president still needs to take Ranpo out to solve the case,
Where is that timeline approximately? If I personally reasoned, it could only be that the detective agency had just been established not long ago, because according to the original main plot, there were relatively few opportunities for Ranpo to partner with the president in the later stages.
Most of them are partnered with club members or have helpers to bring Ranpo back to the club. I personally feel that giving the people inside the work a purpose can make it easier for the author to connect the paragraphs in his mind, and it will be less confusing, and the readers will be able to better understand what the author wants to say.
But in the later chapters, I saw that Ogai Mori had taken office, and Chuuya was tricked into the mafia. So this timeline is expected to be when Chuuya is 15 years old, around the time of the Dragon Head War, and Ranpo should be around 19 years old, and the detective agency should have become famous.
Then inferring from the strawberry cake in the main text, we will subconsciously infer that the season when the protagonist travels to the Wenye world may be autumn and winter.
It is not very popular in Japan to use imported strawberries to make strawberry cake. If it is an individual store, they usually use local ones.
Then in this short paragraph, although we know what the author wants to express, we are not familiar with the heroine yet, so why would the stranger's president want to talk to the heroine? If it was that chaotic era, then this kind of thing should be very common in Yokohama, the mafia seeks revenge and the like,
Ranpo told the president that he could go there if he wanted to, but the heroine seemed fine. Why did the president give the heroine his business card?
The Armed Detective Agency is not a psychological consulting firm, so the behavior patterns here are a bit confusing.
But the impact is not big, and it is understandable for the early president. After all, it was only because we met Ranbu who came for an interview on the way to be the bodyguard of the female president that we formed a relationship. If there is special attention to the younger children, I think it can be understood.
And from the end of the first chapter, the heroine claims to be an orphan with a huge inheritance. It is estimated that the heroine's body is still underage and can be classified as a girl by the president, so she may only be about 13-15 years old.
Probably about the same age as Ranpo.
The heroine's text wants to express value, but I think it is more about expressing her inner uneasiness and uneasiness than ordinary value, so she writes that she hopes she has her own value in this world. Can I live in this world that may have been false? After all, I have no way out.
Then I hope that the editor's presence will be greater. A good editor can make the author go to heaven. Read the Naruto comics. If it weren't for that editor, Naruto wouldn't be the Naruto we know. If you are interested, you can check out the early editors of Naruto. He is really the amazing editor who turned Naruto from a funny work into a passionate work.
The author's supplementary inner words can be greatly shortened. If there is any textual research content that you want to add, you can add it at the end. Chapter 2
→(The protagonist looks like he is about thirteen years old now, and his age has shrunk.)
I hope it can be incorporated into the article more naturally. For example, the editor can say that he did not expect the person who wrote it to look so young. He also asked the heroine her age. This will make the whole article flow smoothly.
In the end, it was really a little embarrassing to look back over there. Rather than being a god, it is better to say that he is a little adult. A child with a lot of inheritance in the chaotic Yokohama can survive smoothly, and he is usually a little bit wise.
In fact, when I first read the article, I didn't quite understand why the heroine's personality was set up. She was said to be happy-go-lucky and not cool, and I didn't feel that she was cliche or lively.
But it doesn't make sense to say that he is a salty fish. In short, his character is very unstable. The current character of the heroine is not very full, and it is impossible for readers to have a clear understanding of what kind of person the heroine is.
I hope the author can help the protagonist establish a complete interpersonal relationship while writing, and also help her stabilize her personality.
写的真好呀，为詹姆的真挚，莉莉的真诚和詹莉之间的感情流泪
It's time for 8027 [Rainbow Fart]
I review it carefully, so I added it to Chapter 11. There may be some points that will make you feel bad after reading it, but I still hope that the author can write better and better. Because I couldn't pass the JJ overseas certification, so only the author can see it. In fact, at the beginning, the protagonist gave me the impression that he was taking things easy and taking things as they came. Then I hope the author can break it down into paragraphs and have a more obvious description of the heroine when writing the story in Chinese. For example, about the Chinese text of the first chapter → [An is a very polite person...] Here, because the heroine does not have a name in the opening scene, she will be confused at first. After all, readers who click in to read may not immediately remember the name in the protagonist column. There might be some misunderstanding, who is An talking about the heroine? Seriously speaking, most people's reading ability nowadays has been greatly reduced by short videos. The protagonist in the opening scene is not clear enough for readers, so it may not be able to retain readers. Then I want to say the most unreasonable part of this article, asking the waiter at a roadside dessert shop for pen and paper! ! ! Is this a high-end hotel? ? I have never had the opportunity to get these things in a simple afternoon tea dessert shop, I have gotten them from restaurants, and the service staff are happy to provide these supplies. I think the priority that needs to be improved should be the segmentation problem. If you want to switch to the third-person perspective, it is recommended to use scene transition to zoom in. Like the one from the president's perspective I may say something very outrageous, but I feel I must let you know, because this is what I feel when I see it →[——————The following is the president's perspective——————] This paragraph is unnecessary Directly pick up Yukichi Fukuzawa (President) and brought Ranpo to the cafe for dessert today. Why did he come? Although it is natural that Ranpo wants to eat dessert. But at this time, if the author gives Ranpo and the president a meaning for their trip, such as the end of a case entrusted by the police, or to reward Ranpo so he comes to buy the dessert he said he wanted to eat, I think it will give readers a deeper impression of the author's president and Ranpo. And from Ranpo's address to the president, we readers can infer that the detective agency has been established, but if the president still needs to take Ranpo out to solve the case, Where is that timeline approximately? If I personally reasoned, it could only be that the detective agency had just been established not long ago, because according to the original main plot, there were relatively few opportunities for Ranpo to partner with the president in the later stages. Most of them are partnered with club members or have helpers to bring Ranpo back to the club. I personally feel that giving the people inside the work a purpose can make it easier for the author to connect the paragraphs in his mind, and it will be less confusing, and the readers will be able to better understand what the author wants to say. But in the later chapters, I saw that Ogai Mori had taken office, and Chuuya was tricked into the mafia. So this timeline is expected to be when Chuuya is 15 years old, around the time of the Dragon Head War, and Ranpo should be around 19 years old, and the detective agency should have become famous. Then inferring from the strawberry cake in the main text, we will subconsciously infer that the season when the protagonist travels to the Wenye world may be autumn and winter. It is not very popular in Japan to use imported strawberries to make strawberry cake. If it is an individual store, they usually use local ones. Then in this short paragraph, although we know what the author wants to express, we are not familiar with the heroine yet, so why would the stranger's president want to talk to the heroine? If it was that chaotic era, then this kind of thing should be very common in Yokohama, the mafia seeks revenge and the like, Ranpo told the president that he could go there if he wanted to, but the heroine seemed fine. Why did the president give the heroine his business card? The Armed Detective Agency is not a psychological consulting firm, so the behavior patterns here are a bit confusing. But the impact is not big, and it is understandable for the early president. After all, it was only because we met Ranbu who came for an interview on the way to be the bodyguard of the female president that we formed a relationship. If there is special attention to the younger children, I think it can be understood. And from the end of the first chapter, the heroine claims to be an orphan with a huge inheritance. It is estimated that the heroine's body is still underage and can be classified as a girl by the president, so she may only be about 13-15 years old. Probably about the same age as Ranpo. The heroine's text wants to express value, but I think it is more about expressing her inner uneasiness and uneasiness than ordinary value, so she writes that she hopes she has her own value in this world. Can I live in this world that may have been false? After all, I have no way out. Then I hope that the editor's presence will be greater. A good editor can make the author go to heaven. Read the Naruto comics. If it weren't for that editor, Naruto wouldn't be the Naruto we know. If you are interested, you can check out the early editors of Naruto. He is really the amazing editor who turned Naruto from a funny work into a passionate work. The author's supplementary inner words can be greatly shortened. If there is any textual research content that you want to add, you can add it at the end. Chapter 2 →(The protagonist looks like he is about thirteen years old now, and his age has shrunk.) I hope it can be incorporated into the article more naturally. For example, the editor can say that he did not expect the person who wrote it to look so young. He also asked the heroine her age. This will make the whole article flow smoothly. In the end, it was really a little embarrassing to look back over there. Rather than being a god, it is better to say that he is a little adult. A child with a lot of inheritance in the chaotic Yokohama can survive smoothly, and he is usually a little bit wise. In fact, when I first read the article, I didn't quite understand why the heroine's personality was set up. She was said to be happy-go-lucky and not cool, and I didn't feel that she was cliche or lively. But it doesn't make sense to say that he is a salty fish. In short, his character is very unstable. The current character of the heroine is not very full, and it is impossible for readers to have a clear understanding of what kind of person the heroine is. I hope the author can help the protagonist establish a complete interpersonal relationship while writing, and also help her stabilize her personality.
啊啊啊啊太感动了，大大好贴心，居然还有甜甜的番外[爱心眼][爱心眼][爱心眼][加油][加油][加油]