#My broken thoughts are very broken and messy, don't enter if you don't like them
There are three suns in my name. A long time ago, I wanted to be a person with my name. Until that day when I saw the cold sky covered by fog on a rainy day, I seemed to finally admit that from a long time ago, I might be the one who needed to be illuminated.
I finally managed to lose two pounds in one night. Although the loss was in water and salt, I had been swinging between extreme dieting and overeating again and again. It seemed that I no longer had to worry about this. It turns out that losing weight is not that difficult, as long as you are willing to sacrifice happiness.
I often feel in a trance, and I find that I don't believe or care about anyone else. Such people seem to have existed in my world before. I suddenly feel that I have actually died in countless dark and silent nights, over and over again. I seem to have lost count of how many times I have given up on myself, letting them drown in silence until dawn.
I also seem to have struggled through many similar nights. The colors are similar, the temperature of the moonlight through the cracks in the window is similar, and even the ghost shadows left by the car lights on the wall and the sounds of broken leaves and branches being crushed are so similar.
My hands were shaking so hard that I couldn't hold anything, and even when I opened my mouth, my chest felt as heavy as a thousand pounds. It seemed that I had finally lost the strength to be hysterical. It seemed that I could finally get rid of the label of madman. I finally became the gentle and calm person they wanted me to be.
Intention: I want to write about me, about the many people I meet, about what I want to remember, about what I want to forget and let go