I'm sorry for the people, I'm sorry for D. .
I decided to rewrite Niao. . So if there is someone at the bottom of the pit, I can only apologize. . .
Khan, as for the modified version, I will put it up next week. There is also a modern pit along with it.
I bow my head and admit my mistake, but I really can't bear the boringness of making mistakes anymore. . .
Seeing this in the rewritten version, I thought this was over.
Http://www. Jjwxc. Net/onebook. Php? Novelid=79999
Intention:
Reader comments
The princess and Jiang Cuo must be the same person, and he is also a man! I'm afraid King Cheng announced that the child was a daughter to avoid being killed!
I always feel that the article is very familiar. It turns out to be related to Dan Weijungu!
There are so few updates this time~~~Oh~~~
I won't give any points this time. .. You can figure it out yourself.
Not bad! Great, keep writing!
What an idiotic article, I don't know why so many people are following it. It's so childish. I can't write well, so I'm here to make a long comment.
Don't do this, right? Why must we choose one or the other?
By the way, I hate articles with only a few hundred words in a chapter. I think most people hate it too.
For the sake of being a newbie, I won't smash bricks. Please be more careful.
Come on! ! ! ! ! !
Come on, the writing is so beautiful, I support you~! ! !
Another long wait for updates
Very well written! ~~~~
Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok,
Pounce on it and overwhelm it~dig kaka ^^^^^^^^
I feel really sad for Serta.
If the copywriting is about "ballads", it can be more popular, such as boat songs on the riverside, so that you don't have to worry about the problem of balance: P
btw: I can only see a little bit about Chapter 32, it's probably a system problem with JJ. 555, This is the exciting part. Could you please re-post it?
It's so complicated. I don't understand why these two people have exactly the same faces. To say they are not related by blood is simply a lie.
It's so beautiful, I can't stop!
Ahhhhhh——! ! ! Someone wrote Yaqianliu~
Sir, come on~
I support it~
It feels good. This is good. Short stories are more memorable.
"He remembered that Bucket once said that many previous lives always ended coldly in the cold winter, which was not lively enough.
This Lantern Festival can be considered lively. "
//////////////////
Sir, are you starting to finish this?
No, I don't want to see a tragedy, JJ is all stepmother. . . . . . . .
But sir, continue, our purpose is - we would rather be tortured to death than sit in a trap and wait to die.
I will follow the footsteps closely. . . . . . . . . . . ~~~~Float away
How long do we have to wait?
I'm so anxious!
I burst out laughing~~~~~~~~~~
Come on! ! Come on! ! !
Effort! ! Effort! ! !
Looking forward to the next update
Why do you suddenly want to change your name? Isn't the original one pretty good?
Is Xiaofu's mother ready to fight her father?
I guess Tianming is planning to lay a trap for Yu Diao to see if he is approaching Xiao Fu for money, right?
With so many words? How can you get such a high score?? It shows the author's level. I really admire it~!!!
What a pity for Fengba and Tianshen. Really talented work~!
It seems that the heroine and Thirteen are still in a marathon, and Thirteen actually fell in love with an actor...
Great article! Admiration! ! !
Keep looking forward to updates
cute guy
I came to help Xiaojiu read the article. See this chapter now.
1. I have a feeling that the author's sentences are not very smooth. Some long sentences seem to be missing commas, which makes them look a little tired. Someone mentioned this before. There is also this kind of feeling that my appearance in the mirror is not half as good as that of the man. Half of me is depressed, but the other half of me doesn't know why. Could this be a witchcraft? ' The juxtaposition is not very symmetrical, 'half is frustrated, the other half is confused.' Would this be better? There are many sentences like this, and I'm afraid the author would have to take the trouble to revise them.
2. Perspective change. Since the author also said that the heroine is a clue and a witness, what is the meaning of the third-person perspective in Chapters 2 and 4? I understand, maybe it's because the heroine is in a coma, but the plot requires those two paragraphs, but it still feels a bit awkward. If there are such transitions throughout the article, it can be regarded as a writing technique, but I only saw those two places. I wonder if the author could change it to include the heroine who heard it consciously, or someone who reported it back to the heroine afterwards?
3. I feel that the author has painted many characters evenly, and it is hard to tell who is more important. Seeing the title of this article, what the author most wanted to write about was Si Mang, right? Is it necessary to appropriately omit other characters, such as Brother Dongfeng, lest he steal the spotlight from the protagonist? Or, when writing a supporting role, you can also show the protagonist from the side. Delete unnecessary details if you can.
Personal opinions, please forgive me if they are inappropriate.
Sorry everyone...
You can only write again after finishing the college entrance examination. ..
Everyone will understand...
Bow~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The princess and Jiang Cuo must be the same person, and he is also a man! I'm afraid King Cheng announced that the child was a daughter to avoid being killed! I always feel that the article is very familiar. It turns out to be related to Dan Weijungu!
There are so few updates this time~~~Oh~~~
I won't give any points this time. .. You can figure it out yourself.
Not bad! Great, keep writing!
What an idiotic article, I don't know why so many people are following it. It's so childish. I can't write well, so I'm here to make a long comment.
Don't do this, right? Why must we choose one or the other?
By the way, I hate articles with only a few hundred words in a chapter. I think most people hate it too. For the sake of being a newbie, I won't smash bricks. Please be more careful.
Come on! ! ! ! ! !
Come on, the writing is so beautiful, I support you~! ! !
Another long wait for updates
Very well written! ~~~~
Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok,
Pounce on it and overwhelm it~dig kaka ^^^^^^^^
I feel really sad for Serta.
If the copywriting is about "ballads", it can be more popular, such as boat songs on the riverside, so that you don't have to worry about the problem of balance: P btw: I can only see a little bit about Chapter 32, it's probably a system problem with JJ. 555, This is the exciting part. Could you please re-post it?
It's so complicated. I don't understand why these two people have exactly the same faces. To say they are not related by blood is simply a lie.
It's so beautiful, I can't stop!
Ahhhhhh——! ! ! Someone wrote Yaqianliu~ Sir, come on~ I support it~
It feels good. This is good. Short stories are more memorable.
"He remembered that Bucket once said that many previous lives always ended coldly in the cold winter, which was not lively enough. This Lantern Festival can be considered lively. " ////////////////// Sir, are you starting to finish this? No, I don't want to see a tragedy, JJ is all stepmother. . . . . . . . But sir, continue, our purpose is - we would rather be tortured to death than sit in a trap and wait to die. I will follow the footsteps closely. . . . . . . . . . . ~~~~Float away
How long do we have to wait? I'm so anxious!
I burst out laughing~~~~~~~~~~
Come on! ! Come on! ! ! Effort! ! Effort! ! ! Looking forward to the next update
Why do you suddenly want to change your name? Isn't the original one pretty good? Is Xiaofu's mother ready to fight her father? I guess Tianming is planning to lay a trap for Yu Diao to see if he is approaching Xiao Fu for money, right?
With so many words? How can you get such a high score?? It shows the author's level. I really admire it~!!! What a pity for Fengba and Tianshen. Really talented work~!
It seems that the heroine and Thirteen are still in a marathon, and Thirteen actually fell in love with an actor...
Great article! Admiration! ! !
Keep looking forward to updates cute guy
I came to help Xiaojiu read the article. See this chapter now. 1. I have a feeling that the author's sentences are not very smooth. Some long sentences seem to be missing commas, which makes them look a little tired. Someone mentioned this before. There is also this kind of feeling that my appearance in the mirror is not half as good as that of the man. Half of me is depressed, but the other half of me doesn't know why. Could this be a witchcraft? ' The juxtaposition is not very symmetrical, 'half is frustrated, the other half is confused.' Would this be better? There are many sentences like this, and I'm afraid the author would have to take the trouble to revise them. 2. Perspective change. Since the author also said that the heroine is a clue and a witness, what is the meaning of the third-person perspective in Chapters 2 and 4? I understand, maybe it's because the heroine is in a coma, but the plot requires those two paragraphs, but it still feels a bit awkward. If there are such transitions throughout the article, it can be regarded as a writing technique, but I only saw those two places. I wonder if the author could change it to include the heroine who heard it consciously, or someone who reported it back to the heroine afterwards? 3. I feel that the author has painted many characters evenly, and it is hard to tell who is more important. Seeing the title of this article, what the author most wanted to write about was Si Mang, right? Is it necessary to appropriately omit other characters, such as Brother Dongfeng, lest he steal the spotlight from the protagonist? Or, when writing a supporting role, you can also show the protagonist from the side. Delete unnecessary details if you can. Personal opinions, please forgive me if they are inappropriate.
Sorry everyone... You can only write again after finishing the college entrance examination. .. Everyone will understand... Bow~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~