He's in the Dim Light

If someone asked Li Mo what her secret love was like, she would only tell you - "Mountains should be viewed from a distance." She always thought so. "If you were given a chance to go back in time, which year would you like to go back to? What would you do?" "Go back to 2015 and see you again in South Vancouver." —————————————————————————————— What counts as bullying? Not only beatings and scoldings, but also the harm caused to others' psychology is considered bullying. The garbage that often appears on the desk, the disappearing exercise books, the conversations they stop when you appear, the teacher's intentional humiliation, in the end, you will become numb, there will be no more tears, but after you get rid of it, you will dream about it at midnight, and occasionally hope that someone will help you. During the last year of the third year of junior high school, I always thought that I could leave them completely soon. But then I gradually realized that that year was really too long. What if I couldn't hold on any longer... "So what if I get squeezed out? Just make it through three years." This sentence is false. Can't survive it. If introversion is also the reason for them to spread rumors about me, then I have nothing to say, but why do they tell someone about me when I know someone? They fabricate my past, confuse right and wrong, and make irresponsible remarks about my future... At the parent-teacher meeting in the second grade of junior high school, I wanted to say that if I really jumped that night, it would be great if more people believed in me, or if parents could believe in me. I often think like this. My parents never knew why I wanted to leave. They just thought I was unfilial. They kicked my stool, pushed the table on me, called me fat and took up space, and called me countless nicknames. These things were all their jokes and entertainment topics. I had low self-esteem and was cowardly and afraid of them, so I could only endure their behavior silently and survived those three years of spring, summer, autumn and winter until I graduated and escaped from that place. Everyone is in a pair, I am alone, I am myself, and I am also an alien. I began to wonder if I was born a slur. I'm not beautiful, I don't have a happy family. There are big quarrels for three days and small quarrels for two days. Sometimes I always wonder which one of the bad guys who has been in trouble for eight lifetimes will encounter this family again. Fortunately, my brother is not here, otherwise it would have ruined his entire youth. Whenever he thinks of his youth in the future, there will be a lot of quarrels in his ears, and there will be no harmonious parents. I was bullied, isolated, and anxious. They were ungrateful. They trampled my self-esteem under their feet. I couldn't stand it anymore. When I think about it now, I feel that I was very good at surviving the period of elementary school and junior high school. I don't want to be a teacher, and I don't like being a teacher, but I have to choose my previous major. I am not interested in other majors, but I have graduated. Why do my parents keep letting me go? In the future, I will learn the professional knowledge of a kindergarten teacher. If I become a teacher in the future, I will also take the lead in isolating other children. I will definitely do this. Other people's youth is the salvation of the sun, and my youth is the degradation of the dark moon. In my next life, I will not be the heroine of youth pain literature. I hope that there will be flowers blooming on the road you walk. I will never look back on my dark, damp and shining youth. Take care I thought the teacher was a good teacher, but I didn't expect that the teacher was also a perpetrator. It's so funny. They don't feel any guilt at all and they are still living a good life. I've been there every day and night for 9 years and I haven't received a single apology to this day. There are no friends around me who show their true feelings. I didn't do anything wrong. If you don't like me, then don't like me. Why are you slandering me behind my back? Why do those who commit violence feel free to be themselves, while those who are victimized take a lifetime to get over it? It's not that I'm unsociable on purpose, it's just that I don't understand why it's me How could the perpetrator feel that he was the perpetrator? After all, the teacher was also facing her. I also want to be myself, but I am too timid to dare and am always held back by them. I didn't care about them, but later I found out that I was really scared To this day, I still don't understand whether the isolated person is at fault or not... Growing up is indeed a painful thing, but the happy thing is that I listen to the sound of a big tree growing despite the wind and rain. Why do they bully you or hate you? It's because you don't belong to this circle. You just went to the wrong environment. It's not you that's wrong, it's them. In the parallel world, you may be in a very friendly big family, and everyone loves you. They will joke with you, fight with you and be cheerful. This is the environment that belongs to you. I was in elementary school and junior high school, and I thought it would be better if I went to another school. I am doing well in college now, but I still feel sad when I occasionally think of that summer before. They are like wallflowers. When I am frustrated, there is no one around me. It's a pity that I only have one youth, full of helplessness and regret. I've always believed bullies don't deserve to live I always think that if I could go back in time, I would definitely protect her I didn't have a very amazing youth in college, and I even thought about adding a little glimpse of the scene in my book, but after thinking about it, I just forgot about it. This is how I should be. "If you were given a chance to go back in time, where would you go back? What would you do? Back to 2015, goodbye South Vancouver" But now I suddenly don't want to go back to South Vancouver. When I came to the human world, I wanted to be surprised. Unexpectedly, the demons and monsters in this world have made me so ridiculous. Do you know South Vancouver? I like you more than anyone else, but I am not as good as anyone else. I am really sorry that you met such a miserable me in junior high school. On the fourth Qingming Festival, I prayed that I would trade everything that happened 9 years ago for them to see her parents in the morgue next year. (Actually! Those understatement stories in my mouth made me hurt for a long time) Intention: A young man in his prime, wanders astray and never returns.